A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 22 and recently moved back home after graduating from college until I got a job. Well, now that I'm finally working and receiving paychecks, I'm ready to be on my own again.I was recently talking with a great friend of mine and she is also looking for a place to live. We both met each other the first day of college and have been good friends for the last 4 1/2 years. We hang out all the time and always get along. Both of us have the same price range for an apartment and are interested in moving to the same spot in the city.So she brought up moving in with each other and looking for a place together. My first reaction was "Wow, that'd be awesome." I mean, I know we'd have a ton of fun and we're both very reasonable and clean people.But then I started thinking about how it would affect our friendship. I mean, we're both attractive, single people, and I've heard from a few other people that moving in with someone from the opposite sex usually leads to a fling or two.So, what does DearCupid think? Is this a good idea or a bad idea? Will moving in together mean we'll eventually hook up and change our friendship? Thanks for the advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. I don't really think about her as more than just a friend. I mean, she's gorgeous and tons fun, but we have some pretty different interests and we've been good friends for so long, the idea of a relationship with her seems a bit farfetched to me.
As far as just hooking up goes, I don't think I would, because again, she's such a good friend and I wouldn't want to ruin that. Then again, if we were both drunk, I could see there being some sexual tension.
But, I think we might get the place. I was afraid that bringing back girls to the place might cause some jealousy issues, but I guess that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it.
Thank you everyone!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Do you think that eventually hooking up would be a good thing for you two?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): As long as there's not a chance she fancies you everything will be a ok. If she does fancy you expect a bunny boiler type situation when you try to bring girls back that u like to the flat
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): It doesn't always lead to a hook up, a friend is a friend really unless you find her sexually attractive and have at any point had feelings for her.
You can make sure you don't hook up, it's not that hard to *not* hook up, you just don't do it.
The hard part would be if you had feelings for her, I don't need to explain how messy that would get, I think you understand that hearing her in the bedroom close by with a guy would be torture for you and all other little things.
But not hooking up is very easy really. You just form habits with her that you would with a guy friend. No close physical intimacy, like cuddling watching a movie or any kind of acting like a couple at all. Treat her like you would if she had a willy and it will be fine. Just be prepared for long waits for the bathroom and being forced to watch awful crap on TV.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): I think it should work out. Make sure you split everything 50/50 inc. all chores!! I have sometimes heard it is awkward for when you start dating someone as sometimes new girlfriends get jealous easily of their boyfriend living with a female friend, and vice versa. But hopefully you meet someone who is pretty secure and doesn't let petty things like that get to them, it'll be a good way to judge a girlfriends potential of if they get jealous/clingy on how she reacts to you living with a woman!
If nothing has come up between you before in all the years you have known each other to suggest there is the potential of being more than just friends I don't see why house sharing should change that balance. Nothing to lose by just going for it, you'll have a great time living with a friend and it makes it a lot cheaper for both of you. Good luck x
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