A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a senior in high school; I just transferred to a new school for their fine arts program. I recently came out as pansexual to most of my friends at school.Through some friends, I met a very cute guy. We have gotten to know each other very well and consider each other good friends. Although he talks about girls that he thinks are hot and what not, he gives off mixed vibes. He gives me bear hugs from behind, gives me "tune ups" where he grabs my pecks and squeezes a few times, and he's really touchy-feely. I have spent so much time thinking about fictitious scenarios where the two of us are a couple.But I think he has a thing for a mutual friend, who is also his best friend (a female). The two of them have been acting very strange lately. They've been really distant from the rest of us (our friends) and they are always whispering and laughing with each other. One evening, I was in the back seat of a car with them and they were holding hands underneath a jacket. Before this, when I told this girl about my feelings for him, she told me to tell him and see if something could happen, because, according to her, he is "a little curious" (when I came out to both of them, she asked me who I liked, and he said that if it was him, he would be flattered). After telling her that and having this "thing" happen between them, I got really upset. My friends tell me I'm acting differently, and he is always asking me what's wrong (I'm assuming I am subconsciously acting differently because of him).In two weeks we'll be having a scary movie night with a few other friends. I told him I would tell him what's been going on, then.I think I over-analyze everything, so I'm not sure if he's coming on to me, or if I'm just too hopeful. I'm a little nervous about telling him about my feelings for him, but he's had a lot of gay friends and he's very open-minded. My friends tell me that the worst that can happen is him telling me the feelings aren't mutual, but that he's flattered.Is it a good idea that I'm telling him about my feelings? From this information about him, do you think he may have some feelings for me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): i'm afraid whaat you have there seems like it might be a lost case :( he sounds straight :( i used to have the same problem of analysing everything my crush used to do and whether he wasnt hitting on me or just being friendly (turned out he was a d**che who was messing with my head - ie. knew i fancied him and found it hilarious to flirt with me even though he was straight)... however the "i would be flattered" line seems like he's very accepting towards gay guys... but straight :( i myself have had that from another guy... even though i didnt actually fancy him :L ahh well thats life aye :P
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): @der_zyniker and AvgGuy1: Thank you for replying. I will tell him about my feelings, and we'll see where that goes!
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (21 December 2010):
I would tell him how you are feeling and why you have been acting differently. I would tell him how you feel about him, but also tell him that if he isn't interested in you in that way that you understand and that you won't pursue this any further. And trust me. And I agree with AvgGuy1. Your friends are probably involved with each other.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 It sounds to me... like these two friends of yours... that you're talking about... might just be a little involved (with each other). They're probably trying to be discreet about it possibly so as not to hurt your feelings (since SHE knows how you feel about him - tho not a very nice thing for her to have done). The other, more remote, possibility is that they are trying make you jealous enough that you'll say something to your male friend.
I would say... play it by ear for now, but don't be surprised if they're involved (with each other). If you find out otherwise... then yeah, maybe you should say something to him - if he's as open as you say, he just might take you up on whatever you have to offer him.
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