A
male
age
30-35,
*odyjs
writes:Is it a bad sign if she says she's waiting to see if there is a spark after we've kissed? We hung out a little bit as friends. We went to see Les Miserable where we held hands. Since then we have been together a couple of times, holding hands and cuddling. She hasn't had a boyfriend since high school so she suggested that we take it slow. She suggested we try kissing tonight and we did. We kissed for a bit, cuddled a bit, kissed some more, and then she brought up taking it slow and said she was waiting to see if there is a spark. Should there be a question of spark after we've kissed? She also said that there is a hint of a spark. I have no trouble with taking it slow but I'm perceiving mixed signals. She does say that she has liked spending time with me, she says I'm interesting. She says she still needs to get to know me better, and perhaps she is just making sure we go slow because of her own inexperience. By the way, we are equally inexperienced. Our conversation seems a bit stilted at times. I think I feel more comfortable than she does. I need a place to vent and put my thoughts down. To anyone at all who replies, thank you for taking the time.
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male
reader, codyjs +, writes (30 January 2013):
codyjs is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everybody. I think I do over think things. From here on I'm going to try and worry less. I've also had a resurgence of my musical passions. For the first time since we've been seeing each other she was at the back of my mind as opposed to the front. It has been a while for me too, so I may just be over zealous. I need to let things happen, not make them happen. Thank you
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 if i were you, i'd proceed, but i'd definitely proceed with caution. because i'm with you - if there's a spark, i KNOW it. I feel it immediately. it's not something i need time to question or evaluate. but i also don't see any need to stop seeing her or to call it quits or whatever. because clearly she's spending time with you and letting you kiss her .. a good sign. but you also can't quite figure out where you stand with her, which is a very uncomfortable place to be.like i said, keep seeing her, but see if you can't put your expectations to the side and just enjoy being with her. stop trying to worry about the spark or possible lack thereof. just hang out with her and keep being yourself. if it's gonna happen, it'll happen on its own time. But don't put all your eggs in one basket. be patient, but don't put your life on hold. hope it works out!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 January 2013):
Hi there. You said that you first hung out as friends.
Were you in that situation for very long - was it a couple of years, or was it months or weeks?
And was this situation of being friends, as a part of a group at the time?
It may just be a kind of transition that is gradually taking place now, from friendship to boyfriend and girlfriend type status.
It's always good to take things slow in the beginning, so that no-one gets hurt.
And then there are not too many expectations.
Well, a bit of a spark is better than no spark, I guess, isn't it?
And the spark doesn't so much come from a kiss, but more about how you feel about each other generally.
That is the real attraction, and if there is a big physical attraction towards each other, well then that gives the kiss more spark, as a result.
So what we are kind of talking about here, is attraction, isn't it?
I think just give it some more time, and don't think too much about it, and just let things happen by themselves.
You both just need to relax with each other, and enjoy each other's company and have fun together.
And if the spark is going to happen, well then it will do so, sooner rather than later.
And not just a spark for her only, you must feel it also.
I'm talking about the butterflies in your stomach type of feeling - like being nervous.
Sometimes if you think about something too much and worry about it also, it can stop it from happening at all.
So just relax and have fun, and see what happens with time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): If she says that she finds you interesting, that there is a hint of a spark and that she enjoys being with you then don't worry take it slow and see where it goes.
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