A
female
age
30-35,
*edStars
writes:Right, my question is: Is it all right that I have a teacher's myspace?The thing is he's not my actual teacher, I only got to know him during cross country last year (he was one of the teachers that ran the club) and I thought he was fun and cool. He mentioned he had a band so I looked it up on myspace, then I found his actual personal myspace and added that, I didn't think he'd accept but he did! I was surprised! Since then we have gotten closer, but only as friends! But a couple of months ago I did such a stupid thing! - I asked him [on myspace] if it was all right that a teacher had a student's mobile number without the student's permission, and the teacher ringing them when they could have used the house phone [the teacher told me that she could just do that but insisted I gave her my friend's number]. And then the teacher on myspace said 'it's not recommended but then neither is talking to your students on myspace, so I can't really complain' and since then I haven't spoken to him. Not even face to face. It was as if he was telling me to stop talking to him altogether and to just leave him alone. But the thing is i always had a laugh with him and he always helped me when something was wrong, and now i have no one. I can;t tell my friends or family anythign cos sometimes it's about them. I wrote a letter of apology to him ages ago, but I haven't given it him yet because I asked my friend about it [I didn't say to who or who from, just that another friend had done something to annoy a teacher and they were thinking of writing them a letter] they said to tell my 'friend' not to do it cos it would cause awkwardness, which of course I don't want to happen!So basically any advice on any part of this would be very much appreciated! Thank you for reading this... if you didn't give up! :Pxx
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady +, writes (20 May 2009):
Simple. He got scared. It's not your fault, infact I think you made a valid point in what you said, however on his side of things something clicked and he realized that what he was doing wasn't any better. You probably nipped a nerve, what would have been more practical was just to pretend nothing was ever said, don't bother with apologies you have NOTHING to apologise for, he is the one who accepted u adding him, he is the one who conversed with you, just you accidentally hit on a point which made him think it wasn't safe to continue what he was doing. It is possible that he thinks you have a crush on him, it is possible that he misunderstood you, it is also possible that he thinks you talk to people and you will tell people about speaking to him on myspace. It is possible that between then and now you did tell someone and they warned him off. The etacher is probably just distancing a little, respect this don't try and mow him down with sorry notes like any normal man, clinginess is a scary thing. He'll get over it, and things will be ok again, the more you push the more he will back away.
xx
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (29 November 2008):
 There was a student in america that slated one of his teachers on my space and he got in to a lot of trouble for it. Teachers are encouraged not to form 'friendships' outside normal classes as it is not professional, they could lose their job as well. The best thing you can do for this teacher is to keep it in school, teacher, student. I'ts a common thing for pupils to want more from their teachers and most of the time its because pupils your age their hormones are all over the place. Be strong and try to get out of this desire to want more. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 To me this sounded like a student who was causing trouble for him/her without you realizing it. Obviously you asked this innocently I assume. But any adult would see this as making a threat against the teacher by revealing something that could get them into trouble.
I think the teacher (from the little you explained) could possibly see that you are still a child and don't understand how risky it is to bring up subjects that could look wrong among strangers. So, to avoid any possibility of giving anyone the wrong impression of things, the teacher might have decided it best to keep distance and avoid further misunderstandings, since you are young and don't see how your making public such questions can make a problem for others.
just realize you made a mistake because you are young. That you will make a lot of mistakes during your life, innocently. But people don't know your motivations and you will just learn as you go though life.
Don't worry about this. Just drop it and I suggest walk away from the situation before you make things worse as young people tend to be full of emotions without the wisdom of life experience. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, RedStars +, writes (29 November 2008):
RedStars is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry, i forgot to say that after his last message i said sorry, and if you don't want me to message you or talk to you on here anymore just say and i'll stop. But he didn';t say anything, and before then i did feel a bit like he didnt want me to... I see him round school a bit and i try to say hi, but he just seems to blank me or something. So to me it seems like he does actually want me to stop talking to him. If he wanted to carry on talking then surly he would have said something?Sorry about the confusion, and sorry if i just made it even more confusing...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): I am a bit confused, why have you stopped speaking to him? Have you stopped talking to him, or the other way around? It's just that him saying about it not being recommended to talk to students on myspace doesn't to me mean that he is telling you to stop talking to him or to leave him alone. He was just making a point that whilst it is wrong, he can't really say anything because he's doing it as well.
If he didn't want to talk to you or wanted you to leave him alone, he'd just ignore your messages.
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