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male
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*ray-c
writes: Earlier thie year I was going out with an American things were cool at first but then she started getting a bit clingy, I tried to break it off but was unsuccessful. As she was leaving in June I let it slide, but now that shes back home she won't stop e-mailing me and is now talking about coming back over to good old Ireland and wants me to save to go over to her.....what!! So any advice to get out and spare feelings or is honesty the best policy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): For heaven's sake, she's on the other side of the Atlantic!! Long-distance relationships are not easy to maintain (even when one wants to, and you don't) but this is long-distance with a vengeance!
At some level, she perhaps knows you're no longer interested, since she keeps on emailing you. She may be attempting to overcome your resistance and persuade you to continue on. Won't work.
Tell her the distance is too great (which is true) and that while you enjoyed seeing her at first, you now realize that you're not compatible for the long haul. You can even throw in that you find her too clingy. Yes, it will hurt, but you have to be honest.
If she does this with other guys, she's going to make it difficult for her to find someone else.
Admittedly, her being clingy and it causing problems for her, is not YOUR problem. I'm thinking along the lines of doing her a favor by telling her, for future reference, you know?
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Tell her straight. It's not worth stringing it out or the aggro you will get if you don't. I wish you luck.
xx
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A
female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Honesty is definately THE BEST POLICY!! Tell her that while you have really valued the time spent with her you know longer feel the desire to be with her. (Ouch is gonna hurt her but it's gotta be done!) There is going to be no easy way with someone like her. I don't know her but sounds like she is a little insecure if she's clingy so she may still think she has a chance with you no matter what you say!
Best thing to do is after you have said something is not to respond and reply to her letters/e-mails etc, she should soon get the message hopefully! Be honest for both your sakes and explain to her that there is no point in you being with her if you don't feel the same as her!! You would both be selling yourselves short to being with someone better!!!
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