A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, well first let me start by saying that I am bi and I am a young guy. Here is my issue, which by the way has been occupying a great deal of my time for a while now...I have been dating this guy i met online about five months ago and in the beginning everything was fine, we had and still have great chemistry, we saw each other once every week, when we weren't together we would text via email and talk on the phone just about every day to every other day and of course everything was fine then, but just like we all know, all good things must come to an end. He began calling less, we saw each other less (Which now has reached a low of once to twice a month), Well before i go making him seem like a cheater or a player, I want to mention that he is a father of two wonderful kids (whom i have only met once two months ago because we do not feel that we are ready to involve them just yet), he is in "the Closet", he was also divorced over a year ago and of course because he has children, he also has connections to his ex wife. And lastly he works at a job that seems to occupy most of his time... Leaving little to no time for me. Of course when i began to realize how busy he had become i became suspicious of his whereabouts, which eventually led to me questioning him a lot and most recently accused him of cheating (Which only made everything worse at the time and brought us close to breaking-up)... Well the good news is that after that "close-call" everything seems to have bounced back into place, he calls me more, we had plans to see each other last week but spring break forced him to watch his kids on his only day off, So now we are planning on seeing each other next week...any way, let me get to my main problem... well as you guys or girls might be able to tell, I have strong feelings for him (I wouldn't call it love because there are many things we still do not know about one another and i just do not go around tossing the L-O-V-E word around like i am making chicken salad) and like every classical concern, i still am not completely sure if he wants to be with me, even though he told me last week that his ex asked to be back with him and he turned her down...maybe it's because i am too needy, or maybe i just need to stop being so pessimistic...This is my first time being in a relationship with a guy and i am not sure what to do at this moment, I want to stay but i do not want to get hurt and everyone knows that we are all entitled to receive love and affection (which is getting very hard to have with him, making me feel lonely and depressed most of the time) I just need some advice so based on what i have said up there...do you guys think that I he is really here for me? and do you guys think that he cares and misses me like i miss him? what do you guys think i should do? Confused...
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male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (4 April 2010):
I don't want this to sound too rude.. but I can almost guarantee that you are no higher than THIRD on his priority list... and here's why:
1. FAMILY (kids) - If he has primary custody (or not), they will always be his MAIN priority.
2. WORK - Gotta be important, in order to feed priority #1.
3. YOU.
Try not to begrudge him his first two priorities. On the other hand, you need to let him know that you NEED him as well. If he can't reciprocate then it's time to move on. One way relationships don't work.
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