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age
30-35,
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writes: I'm in college, and I've probably had depression, social anxiety, and aspergers for most of my life. I want to know how to live alone without wasting time feeling bad. What methods do you use when you don't have or want contact with anyone? How can I completely shut myself off from the outside world, while being productive? I'm currently using a personality that is practically a lie when I'm outside my room, and shutting off my emotions when I have to work, but I tend to daydream and mope wishing I were normal, thus being inefficient. Also, I will need to have "friends" to work with in the future, and I don't yet understand how that works. I cannot express emotion or enjoy being in a group of people. Thank you for listening to my problem. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 So what kinds of things do you normal people say?
Hahahaah... good question... yep, it would be good to have Motoko person to help...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMiamine, that is somewhat helpful, but I think I didn't describe the problem accurately enough. I don't know how to join or rejoin a conversation without disrupting the flow, especially when I don't know a lot about their subject. I don't know what words to say; it would probably be a problem even if they talked slowly. So what kinds of things do you normal people say?
Ahhh...if only i were like motoko from ghost in the shell and i could research everything about the subject on the net during the conversation...
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (8 April 2010):
I have depression, sometimes people talk too fast for me. You can tell them if they are talking too fast. You can also say, please slow down, I would like to talk too. If you tell them that you don't understand everything, people will slow down their talking, and they will talk quietly, and then you can talk to.
People will not know if you are having problems, if you don't tell them.
Shy people also have this problem, so you don't look stupid, you look normal, they think you are shy... :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for responding, Miamine and Tisha-1.
I will try to find some other aspies to talk to, especially once I've been diagnosed.
I agree with the way you describe it, Miamine. I've been overgeneralizing my socialization skills and fearing every situation in the same way.
A problem I have had many times: when you are in a conversation with two people and they start talking to each other, how do you re-involve yourself? I tend to just listen, and it feels really awkward when we leave. What am I doing from their perspective? Should I just leave when this happens? I feel like a creepy specter on the wall by the end of it usually...It take a lot of processing just to listen to them, especially in a public place.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (8 April 2010):
Yes, you need to contact other people who have Asperger's syndrome. They will help you and they will tell you what to do when people confuse you or the everything becomes too noisy.
It is not good to shut yourself away from people. But you can tell your friends that you want to stay alone and everything is too noisy and loud. If you tell them you have Asperger's then they will understand.
"I'm currently using a personality that is practically a lie when I'm outside my room, and shutting off my emotions when I have to work, but I tend to daydream and mope wishing I were normal..."
This behaviour is normal. It is not possible for anyone to act naturally outside. All people adopt a personality at work, at school, at college. They have to learn to talk in the way that other people want, so they can make their friends happy and say polite words. At home people relax and then they can show their true personality. You are doing very well, you are acting like normal people.
If you feel that something you are doing is wrong, you must ask people to help. Ask your parents, ask your doctors, ask your friends or ask us and we will try to explain.
Take care, you are doing very good, you are learning how to live a happy life, but it will not be good for you to shut yourself away for too long.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 I think you are probably asking the wrong group for help here. We're not trained health care or mental health professionals. I would suggest that you locate an Asperger's support group near you. I have found a website that seems to have a search tool that will help you.
http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/
I would also suggest that you consider psychotherapy to deal with the issues that arise from feeling or desiring social isolation. Your individual experience and background is likely very different that most of ours and I doubt we'd give you decent advice.
There are social interaction skills and other types of therapy that may make you feel more comfortable and change your perception of your syndrome and situation.
Don't allow the depression to defeat you, see your doctor and discuss all your options. I used medication for a while to get mine under control and now manage to stay depression-free with good diet, yoga, exercise and projects. That is my individual experience and it may not work for you. But you owe it to yourself to try to live the richest life you can.
I wish you well on your extraordinary journey.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question...thanks?
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male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (4 April 2010):
See someone at college that can provide you with some help over this? It has happened before you are not the frst nor will you bete last?
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