A
female
age
30-35,
*manda_1234
writes:Recently, as in 2 days ago, my boyfriend and i had a massive fight, because he keeps calling chicks names like "hun" and "babe" on his bebo, and he was mad at me for bringing it up again because we once had an argument about the same thing. He thought i accused him of cheating on me, and got mad because i always check his bebo page. Yes i understand it sorta looks like i dont trust him,i do, but the trust is shaken when he calls chicks the same thing he calls me, i find it degrading, so i look at his bebo.He told me "im done" three times in the argument, and my best friend asked him about what he means and if we were broken up, and he apparently "shrugged his shoulders and said i dunno"i have apologised numerous times and tried calling him later on when i thought he could have cooled down, but he hung up on me when i said hello.he also told my best friend that it wuld take him a long time to get over this fight.so im going to let him cool down for a few days, however i knew his cousins would encourage him to look for other girlfriends, and i told my best friend that too. And my best friend also said that the cousins of my boyfriend did tell him to move on and look for someone else, and my best friend told them that i knew they would say that.so amongst this mess, hes also been chatting to his ex alot more, and alot of girls.i dont know if its just to have a girl to talk to about this, but it really hurt to see a message he sent her calling her 'sweety' and telling her to call him tonight, and that he missed her and he wanted to talk like they used to again, and other stuff.I know that i dont call boys 'babe' and 'hun' and stuff, so i expected him not to, but he has/does, and thats what hurts.At the moment, im trying to figure out weather i still want to be with him, and if he wants to be with me. i have been a good girlfriend to him, i give him all my love and attention, listen and try to help when we had problems, and on our birthday (yes, we do actually share the exact same birthday) i bought him an expensive bracelet with his name engraved on it, to show my love.In the past, before we were officially going out, he stood me up on dates with no notification that he couldnt/wouldnt be coming. It took him a long time even after i admitted to liking him for him to ask me out, and i even had to practically ask him if he was going to date me (because i didn't want to wait around any longer if the answer was no)but now, i really dont know if this relationship is worth pursuing anymore, because he is hurting me more by not telling me if were going out or not, not talking to me, and talking to these girls including his ex. It's making me very depressed, and i feel that i don't deserve to be treated like this (im pretty sure that now he knows i check his bebo comments, that i would check the new ones after the fight). Its not that i ever thought he would cheat, i know he wouldnt, but it is degrading to have a boyfriend call another girl what he calls his own girlfriend, if that makes sense.
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bebo , best friend, cousin, depressed, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 I think this guy thinks hes still single, and wont change as he knows in the end that you wont leave him cause obviously you love him.
But this guy seems to have no respect for women and just likes playing games with everyone.
My advice would be to move on, go out with your friends and act like you've totally forgetten about him.
Either he'll come bak saying sorry. or you guys will drift apart for the better.
I hope i helped
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Of course it makes sense, your boyfriend is a tool! He doesn't want to change, he likes the way things are, and without some professional help, he won't change. You are in love with the man you would like your boyfriend to be, not the man he is.So, the question is...if your boyfriend remains exactly the same, do you want to stay with him? If you do, you need to not argue over these things because that will wreck your relationship.Personally, I think you know you deserve to be treated better, you sound like a really nice person and a thoughtful and caring girlfriend. I think you need to ask yourself "why am I allowing myself to be treated this way?" and "why would I put up with this behavior?" and "what is it that I fear if I just walk away from this relationship?"You mentioned the nice things you have done for him, has he in turn bought you nice things and does he DO nice things for you? If not, why not? I'm guessing...because he is a tool!You are young, your life is long, don't spend it in miserable relationships. Start by finding out how to love yourself, because when you do, you won't allow others to treat you with disrespect and you become self-protecting. That is a better way to go through life... learn now by researching, or getting help, or you will learn the hard way, by living out mistake, after mistake.I wish you the best :)
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