A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Very confused.In a very close friendship with a married man whose marriage has collapsed, or so he tells me.About two weeks ago we met up and discussed feelings for one another. however we decided (mainly his decision) to just try and remain friends. He is quite a bit older than me, all legal though. he seemed really genuine, saying he thought the world f me and didnt want to lose my friendship by complicating things with affairs.I emailed him after meeting up and he said he still really wanted to meet up again. However, since then whenever ive emailed him (3 or 4 times) he just hasn't replied. I saw him last week briefly and he was as he always is, looked delighted to see me etc, apologised for not emailing but said he'd been really busy at work and home, and that he would deffo be in touch. Still no reply when i emailed him. i guess my question is why is he doing this? im not fooled by him saying he's busy because it only takes 5 mins to email me asking how things are. he has ALWAYS in the past replied to emails.do you think he is trying to put space between us so we dont fancy each other anymore and can remain friends?x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for the answers everyone, they have really helped me to see things from his perspective. I guess it gets hard from this perspective to really see what's going on and i'll admit I do end up feeling really frustrated - though I know he can't put me before his marriage.
I still don't get why he seems to want me to email him but he wont email me back? i saw him earlier and we chatted for a while and he told me to email him and let him know how my hols go this week - however no doubt when i do he won't email me back!
im thinking now that it's because he's trying to protect me... maybe he wants me to go off him, but feels he doesnt feel as strongly for me as i do for him, so he'll be ok with it... im moving away in a few months and maybe he thinks that when i go if i'm still hung up on him i won't settle, whereas with him being older etc he'll be able to deal with it better.
Now that im realising how decent he is, I like him even more :-(
oh dear
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): Give this man his space and if he truely is in the process of divorcing his wife, well then I am sure he doesnt want any complications to arise.
Be his friend but dont chase after him.
If he is just another married man having sex on the side and telling fibs about his situation with his wife, well then he is not really that good a catch is he???
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A
female
reader, Helples  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Agreed with Samii. After all, you wouldn't want a guy whose cheated on his wife/girl friend. The chances are, he'll probably cheat on you too.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 July 2009):
 hun as he is a married man this is what he could be doing.
making excuses so you don't feel hurt he probably is creating a space between you so you guys don't "fall" for eachother in some ways.
he's protecting himself without causing the hurt of his marriage or yourself by dragging you into an affaired relationship.
by this i mean he doesn't want to be one of those married men who cheat on there wives he's obviously keeping that civil and perhaps giving his marriage ago and he doesn't want to drag you in so that you don't end up getting hurt when maybe things with his wife uncomplicate and get back on track so you're left loving him and hurting as he's just left you to continue his life with his marriage.
just give him the space he wants perhaps email the odd occassion just asking how he is.
another reason he could be doing this is so that his wife doesn't get any suspicion on the two of you i guess he's covering his own back so that she knows nothings going on and he does he's just keeping it friendly therefore he's got not guilt.
he's probably being very careful about these emails that you send him and visa versa should his wife come across and email and suspect the worst.
Hope this helps hun. you want to talk futher don't hesitate to message me :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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