A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing this guy for over a month. Im 19 and he is 23 and we were friends for about 2 months before we got together. We havent done anything sexual yet but he always wants to and says that he cant help it because Im so sexy. Last night we were making out and he indirectly asked when we were gonna do it and I asked "Is that all you want from me?" and he got upset and defensive and said "If you think thats the kind of guy I am, maybe we shouldnt be doing this." I told him without going into details that I have been hurt in the past and he said, "Im not like that. Just do what feels right baby." I mean I do want to have sex with him but I have been so hurt in the past, I dont want to repeat the same mistakes again. Should I tell him how I feel? Is he genuine or is he just trying to make me feel guilty? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, fuglyone +, writes (22 April 2009):
 He's a douche-bag and you need to decide if you want to put up with douche-bags the rest of your life or spend time with people who aren't douche-bags.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I agree with answering machine.
A month is not very long at all - in fact its the minimum (not maximum) amount of time to date before deciding whether to have sex or not.
His telling you "he can't help it because you're just so sexy" is just a line. OF COURSE he can help it! Getting defensive is not a good sign.
The bottom line is: if he really likes and respects you, he WON'T pressure you, directly or indirectly. He'll be willing to wait until YOU are ready.
So, I'd say, base your decision on that. And, as the saying goes "if in doubt, don't."
...............................
A
male
reader, answeringmachine +, writes (7 April 2009):
In my opinion that is a short amount of time to date someone, let alone know someone before trusting them to do that with you. I think that he is not being sincere and it sounds as though he is just trying to get one thing from you. It's perfectly understandable that you want to be cautious, and he should not pressure you at all or make you feel guilty for not doing that with him.
You should tell him how you feel and if he reacts badly, then maybe he's not the one you should be with right now. Find someone who makes you feel comfortable and doesn't make you feel guilty just for taking care of yourself and not wanting to be hurt. Good luck with everything.
...............................
|
