A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I wonder if anyone can advise me on a startling new problem that's come up.Im 35 and single, never been married or had kids, and a few years ago got to know a lovely guy through some friends, who was 19.i found him really attractive and I remember having a big girly chat with my best friend as it was the first time id ever fancied someone but thought I was too old to possible be able to go out with them!He would flirt with me sometimes but i would always laugh it off and joke that if I was only 10 years younger then id go out with him in a heartbeat.Well Ive not seen him in ages and i saw him last weekend on a night out, and he told me that he's always fancied me and even though he'd had a few drinks he wanted me to know how pretty I am and how much he likes me.I really flattered and surprised, but put it down to the drink talking, but he emailed me the next day to say that even though he'd been drunk, he meant every word and that i should realise how nice I am.He is single, and Im probably going to be bumping into him a lot over the summer.Do you think it'd be wrong to go ahead if he pursues this? I really fancy him, and get on with him so well, but he is 21 and I am 35!Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated! My best friend is on holiday so I can't chat to her about it till she gets back in 2 weeks time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): wow. i'm going through the same thing. I'm 33. he's 20. It's crazy how the connection and attraction is there with such an age difference. We are just taking it slow. There is no gurantee to anything..so we are just going with the flow and hope no one get hurts in the end. but definitely go for it. You might miss out on something great.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Hello,I was 32 when I started 'seeing' my boyfriend, who was then 19. I too felt as if he was far too young, as I'd never been out with anyone younger than myself prior to meeting him.At the time I felt like a silly schoolgirl about the whole thing, mainly because I really fancied him but didnt think for a minute that anything would or should develop. That was 8 years ago and we are still going strong - despite fierce opposition from his somewhat domineering mother and a few other busy bodies. Generally, people dont have much to say about it anymore.I only really notice our age difference when we maybe face a situation that I have experienced before and he hasnt. It can be a bit frustrating having to observe someone making mistakes you made 10 years before, but neither is lecturing your partner like he's one of your kids!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow Thankyou so much everyone, I had no idea at all which way the advice would swing so Im really pleased and a bit excited now too!
I will keep you posted and try to keep a level head should anything develop!
Thankyou so much xx
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Hi,
I have to admit I had a fling with an older lady when I was 21. It was awesome I have to say, she certainly taught me a lot about sex and life and I will be forever in her debt.
But the relationship was never going to last, eventually I went to University , moved towns , got different priorities. She didnt - her life was set in a routine.
So while we both had a lot of fun in a way we knew it wouldnt last.
But at the end of the day it was a positive for both of us and we stayed in touch for a few years after I left - and there were no recriminations - she said she always knew that I wouldnt stay put so I guess she accepted the reality of the situation - and whose to say she wasnt just interested in some action for a while from a young bloke herself ( in fact I think that's probably the case!:).
As long as you realise that it is unlikely you will have a long term relationship then go for it and enjoy yourself just be wary of falling in love - you probably will get your heart broken.
good luck anyway.
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A
female
reader, Sophia_Sweetheart +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Hey =] well I'd say you should just go for it! Yes, he's quite a bit younger than you, but if you both love each other then what should stop you? Nothing should get in the way of love.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 There is no reason why you can't go for it but it probably won't last. I don't mean to be negative but there is a really good chance he could see this as a feather in his cap type of thing. When I was in college and the same age, there was a woman who fancied me. She was married and probably in a bit of a rut. Nothing happened between us but it probably could have. It was strange. I found her very attractive and I enjoyed the attention too.
The reason we usually end up with people our own age is because we have more in common. Of course it's possible that it could work. It's just not probable. He is still a very young man who has many things to experience. Just think of how different you are now as compared to when you were 21.
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A
female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 as long as you don't look older than him (physically and intellectually) coz a guy should slightly be ahead also in intellect so that you dont baby him. if he's mature and you are happy take it as any other happy relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): YOU GO GIRL! your legal to date, you cant get in trouble for age so i dont see why not to go for it. if you both have feeling for each other im sure you guys will be happy. best wishes!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Heck yeah, go for it. I did it when I was 35 and the amazing thing was that we had matching sex drives. The rest of my life I've always dated men my own age and their has always been a disparity in our sex drives. When I was younger it would be the guys that wanted sex too much and then when I got older it was me that wanted sex too much. The younger man, older woman scenario works really well that way. Plus, he was always worried that I wouldn't take him seriously that he was constantly doing nice things for me. Best of luck to you :)
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Go ahead! You're both legal, responsible adults - if you like one another then why not go for it? Be proud that you've still got the goods to attract a much younger man. =)
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A
female
reader, scrazy +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Go for it. It's not like it's illegal for you to be with him. Age is nothing but a number anyways...
Enjoy!
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