A
female
age
41-50,
*odscreation
writes:i am in a new relationship.my dude and i have been together for 2 months and he just revealed to me that he was with a transexual. im so very disgusted and i cant even look at him in the face anymore. should i try to get pass it becus it was in his past,or should i dump him real quick? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): if you think you love him , get over it, if not, welp maybe he is not for you. everyone has a past.
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (25 June 2008):
 When posting questions, try to lay out the facts a bit more clearly. There are transexuals, there are she-males, there are hermaphrodites. There are also transexuals who are in the process of moving from male to female. Your fuzzy explanation doesn't help.
Anyway, if the 'transexual' you are talking about is a she-male, that is, a man who has grown breasts, long hair, and uses make-up (the Thais call them katoey), then there are several things that you need to be aware of.
First, sleeping with a she-male is not necessarily a sign of homosexuality. The thing that turns some men on is that this beautiful sexy woman actually has a big ugly tool between her legs! This is so incongruous and so shocking that some men get a huge thrill out of it. (Liking men's penises is also not a sign of homosexuality, it is merely a kind of penis fetish. Homosexuality is LOVING other men.)
Secondly, I believe it fair to say that obsessive interest in or desire for she-males (who are usually found from the Internet) has the potential to be quite destructive of male-female relationships. If a man is really so turned on by a woman with a penis, a real woman may have a difficult time competing. Some men just can't get enough of that kind of thing.
We don't know much about the facts of this case so it's hard to comment further. As long as he is not hooked on she-males and is still not actively seeking them, I would say it's not a threat to your relationship. In fact, he might be quite an inventive and imaginative lover! Just remember, it's the most forbidden things that often turn us on, whether male or female.
But ultimately it's up to you. Either you can accept it or you can't. If you prefer plain vanilla sex, then this might be too much for you. A name like "godscreation" suggests to me you probably can't accept it, but think about it first, and try and find a bit more about this kind of thing, both by asking your boyfriend in a bit more detail what HE thinks about it, and by looking around the Internet.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, godscreation +, writes (24 June 2008):
godscreation is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni left him i couldnt except the fact that he had sex with a man!!!!!!! the transexual still had a penis!!!! he had sex with a man and thats GAY!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 You shouldnt judge him on his past, we all have one, good or bad but if this goes against your morals in anyway then you have to end it now as it wont get any better. Im not sure how I would feel in your shoes to be honest but I do try to be accepting and understand that we are all different with different outlooks, cultures, morals etc etc. But if this is a serious hurdle for you then sort it out sooner rather than later x
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 It's early enough that you can get out of the relationship fairly painlessly, so if you feel that this is something that's "too much" for you, I would suggest ending it now rather than waiting. It's clear you two have different value systems, perhaps this is a reflection of deeper incompatibility.
I personally don't really understand why him being with a transexual is even an issue for you. For one thing, it's not really anything to do with you. When I am involved with a new girlfriend I rarely ask questions about their sexual past. Unless she has an STD she can pass to me or a child I should know about, it's really none of my business anyway. Same goes for you. I guess some people are too curious to leave it in the past, and in that case, you get what you ask for: more information than you probably ever wanted to know. He's not involved with any transexuals NOW (I presume) so... meh.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 I think Baby Duck is right. Think whether this is too much for you, or not.
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A
female
reader, CantHelpFallin +, writes (19 June 2008):
everyone has a past, good or bad. would you want to be dumped just because of YOUR past? we all learn from our mistakes, and yes people CAN change. just because they do it once doesnt mean they'll do it again. personally, i would be freaked out too, but i wouldnt let something from the past affect our future together, especially if the future is very promising!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): You should not because it was in the past and he has moved on. it seems like he wants to make a good relationship with you where there are no lies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): I don't understand your problem. What is the problem with him being a transexual that causes you to feel so upset? Further information needed for you to get the advice you surely need.
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