A
female
age
30-35,
*ofymp
writes:Hi, I have a problem because i like a neighbour who is 20 years old and i'm 14. At the beggining he started talking to me and asked my name; then he gave me his cellphone number and he added me to his msn list. He noticed that i really like him and he said to me things like 'oh you're a little girl' and i thought 'well, i'm a little girl but you were the one who spoke to me at first and gave me his cellphone number, are you a babysitter or what?'. I said to him that and he told me that if i have ovaries i must go out of my house and tell him everything face to face. I didn't get out because my parents were there so i opened my window and i screamed his name and the only thing he did was waving me a hello; then he told me to go to the corner at 1 AM and i said no! Why don't you come to my door and we talk there? He didn't come. What i'm doing now is not to talk to him and if he's interested in me, he'll return. Am i doing right? Any advice? Please help me, it's very difficult for me to forget him, i don't know how to do, i think about him 25 hours a day, he's freaking me out :(. Is he too old for me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): He is definitely too old for you. Be careful of him.
A
female
reader, love hurts!!  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 Sweetie I personly think AGE DOES NOT matter!!I am 14 and am hookin up with a 18 year old guyy and Iv been thinking about it latly I KNOW for a fact that It doesnt matter!!!Iv always been attracted to old men!!so honey THIS isnt old at all!!just make sure you keep this on the DL[[down loww]]you dont want him to get introuble with the athorities!!!33 talk to me more~!!!good luck hun hope to hear from you!!
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A
male
reader, Kohjakza  +, writes (15 September 2007):
Girl, you are by far the more mature person in this situation. Test this man, but be sure thee is someone there, or nearby to end things if they go wrong. When it comes to the heart, every move you make is a risk, so take a chance, just be carful. As women mature quicker then men, it is possible that you two are on par, but be careful, this world is sick and twisted, no matter how one fels about it. Hugs girl, and good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): Ok, i agree to a point with what people are saying about this guy being a creep, pervert, pedo, whatever, but then again, why should people judge when they dont no a situation properly.
Thing is, a friend of a work colleage has been married for 25 years. He met his wife at the age of 13, he was 19.
Now, im not saying that could happen to you, but its all about respect, like in any relationship. He needs to understand that you are only 14, and maybe see each other as friends only.
This might be the hard part, take him back to see your parents, and talk things through, explain that you both like each other, and want to be friends.
If he cares about you as much as you think he does, then he'll be happy to make that sacrifice for you. Just dont go giving into any feelings and do anything neither of you should do (you no what i mean) cause then, that could be his life ruined.
Be friends first, like i say, if he cares, he'll stay with you....and KEEP YOU PARENTS INFORMED........good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Dear, we've all already told you that we think he could be dangerous. It doesn't seem like you're listening. You don't agree that he's a bad guy b/c you're only 14 and that is why he's doing this, b/c he knows you know no better.
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A
female
reader, sofymp +, writes (10 September 2007):
sofymp is verified as being by the original poster of the question My parents know EVERYTHING, they always listen to me and that's very important for me. I don't think he's a bad person or something like that, i know his family, he lives with his parents and brother and he always takes his dog out very late. I don't believe he's a raptor o something. I had a boyfriend who was 19, and he didn't want to do that stuff. But i don't know, maybe he's playing with me, i must not talk to him for a while, and let's see what he does. His friends told him that i'm too young but he didn't care, that means (perhaps) that he would be interested in me anyway... do you think it's that dangerous?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Be careful this guy could be dangerous, and tell your parents about his advances. He is too old, and you are way out of your league. Stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): He's trying to get you to sneak out of your house so he can have sex with you. He knows you're young and immature mentally and inexperienced with men like him. He is trying to use you for sex, he sees you as an easy target being only 14. You probably don't believe us, but we're all older and experienced in life and have been in your shoes a time or two or knew someone that has been. He could even be a rapist or a killer. You need to stay away from him for good. He has no good intention for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Yes, he is too old and he knows it, himself. Like Penta states you are simply fascinated but you may not be thinking this through, sensibly and I know...the idea of a 20 year old man liking you, probably seems irresistable to you. Hun, this is not a genuine, sincere interest on his part...if he was sincere, he would not be asking you to slip out and meet him at 1 am. Stand your ground, because he's older and he will want to call the shots. It's quite possible that females his own age won't date him. Don't you wonder why? Emotionally immaturity and control issues come to my mind. Men like this are intrigued with a younger girls your age, because he feels girls your age, would be be easier to deal with. But the reality is--if he could handle "real" relationships with a woman his own age, if he was socially mature-he wouldn't be giving a 14 year old, the time of day. He's setting you up to be used for possibly sexual purposes, he's very immature himself..he's trouble and he's after one thing. AS Penta mentions, you have been told about the illegal aspects of what could happen if this relationship turns sexual. A good way to really figure him out? Warn him about the age of consent laws/statuatory laws and you will see this guy turn tail and run. If he still doesn't run then ask yourself, when an adult male will disregard the law and risk 'jailtime" because of his own selfish needs and wishes, there's no telling what else he'll disregard-including your needs and wishes. Always discern a person by his actions and behaviours, dear-not by what he says. But at 14, you may be bright and mature but it could be that your emotions are way ahead of your ability to judge the situation or this person properly. You need to grow, gain knowledge, attain more life experience to deal with this type of adult relationship. Please talk to a trusted adult in your family about this. But take action, be strong and use your head...this man is a creep...so don't allow yourself to get hurt, dear. And one last thing...date guys your own age.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Keep away from him, tell your parents what he's doing. When your older you will realise how bad he is
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (10 September 2007):
 If you have to ask whether he's too old, the answer is almost always YES. In your case, it's ABSOLUTELY YES! In the best case, you could land him in jail for statutory rape. But this doesn't sound like the best case. This guy sounds REALLY creepy. You need to stay as far away from him as possible, and ignore your fascination with him. You should also tell your parents what you've told us. (Maybe print this page, hand it to them and tell them you wrote it.) If this guy keeps after you they need to know so they can step in and protect you.
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A
female
reader, alyssa  +, writes (10 September 2007):
Please be careful. I understand he's a neighbor and you may have known each other a while-but creeps and dangerous people are everywhere and they're never who you think they are. Steer clear. It's illegal for the two of you to even have thoughts of each other. He's playing a game with you, hon. He thinks it's cute you have a crush. Try to set you sights on a boy at school, or get involved in activities to take your mind off him until you're over your crush.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): Ok, perhaps there is a language barrier here, but if you have ovaries you must come out of the house and tell him everything? I understand you have a crush on someone older and attractive who is definately a man at 34, but this guy is a creep if he is giving you his cell phone number and telling you to meet him at the corner at 1 AM in the middle of the night or any other time for that matter.You are 14, you are a child, and this guy is a pedophile, he is sick if he is attracted to you physically and he may harm you, so I would tell someone like a parent what he is doing to you, and stop shouting at him from your house....His attentions are not of good intent, and he may even be dangerous....many criminals are charming people until you find out who they really are...you are too young to know this and too naive to judge his character, this is more important than any flirtatious feeling you may get from being around him....this is the effect he is trying to have on you so you will lower your guard and trust him....this is a dangerous game of cat and mouse, and you're the mouse, and what does the cat do to the mouse, it isn't pretty.
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