A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I went on a couple dates with this guy, we met online. I'm a few years older than him, he just graduated from college. Both dates were really fun and great and ended with us kissing for a long time. He said he really liked me and wanted to see me the next day. Well both times, he ended up cancelling because he was too tired or he had too much work to do, so I had to set up all the plans. I'm definitely on another level, financially, career wise and emotionally have more experience than him and maybe he feels intimated. He's back living with his parents and helps them run the family business for now. He said he really wanted to see me this weekend and didn't want me to think that he wasn't interested but when I told him what time I was free, he went silent and didn't initiate anything.I do like him and we have a lot in common but he seems a bit immature, always on his phone and being super flaky. I haven't heard from him in two days, I'm hoping he'll be a man and realize that I'm not going to wait around forever. Is it worth reaching out again or should I just give up?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2018): I met a guy just like your's ... in the beginning I didn't really care because I saw it as casual dating, believed he would change/grow up after a few years when we become more serious, and I felt career and finances shouldn't play a key factor in our relationship. Well, five plus years have come and gone, while he did mature in some ways, so have I. I'm still more mature than him and he still acts younger than me. Our relationship is much more serious, we are talking marriage now, but I look at him and still feel he is not yet the "man" I want... maybe he will never be.
Years from now, if you're still together, you will still feel that he is always trying to catch up to your level, it may never be enough. Or, you will have to make the choice to accept that his mind set and level of maturity will never be where you're at. You will have to accept and compromise.
I personally have always preferred an older man who can help me mature, give me stability, life experiences, and insight. If you feel this way too, I suggest you end it now, to save yourself much frustration later on down the road.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 September 2018):
 Eh, I'd move on in a heartbeat.
You already KNOW that you "definitely on another level, financially, career wise and emotionally have more experience than him" Which mean you two aren't a great match. Good chemistry doesn't men it will work out.
He doesn't sound like he is 1. willing to invest too much time on building a relationship and rapport with you. 2. not very serious about you.
Which fits his maturity level. He wants fun. You want more.
You CAN NOT fit a square peg in a round hole and expect it to match.
Let it fizzle out and REDEFINE what you are looking for. If you want a more serious relationship you are going to have to be a little more ... picky. Fun and chemistry is good.. but not sustainable or viable for a long term serious relationship. THERE needs to be more SUBSTANCE.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (26 September 2018):
 To answer that question, I think you need to firstly decide what you are looking for.
Are you looking for casual fun dating, or are you hoping for a serious relationship? If the former, then this guy is probably ok in that you meet up occasionally and, when you do, you have fun. If the latter, then you have to realize and acknowledge that you two are at very different stages in your life. Generally speaking, males mature slower than females so, with him being younger anyway, he is probably quite a way behind you in what he wants out of life.
To be honest, if you are already dissatisfied with how he has behaved so far, then I suspect you need someone who is a bit more mature and to leave him to date younger girls who are not really looking for anything serious yet.
Nothing wrong with you OR him. You are just both at very different places right now, hence probably not possible to be happy together.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (26 September 2018):
 I've moved on from him already just reading your post. I think you should too!
Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2018): This should answer your question:
"...but he seems a bit immature, always on his phone and being super flaky. I haven't heard from him in two days, I'm hoping he'll be a man and realize that I'm not going to wait around forever."
You said it, I didn't. He's fun for casual-dating when the opportunity arises. Seems that it doesn't enough.
I'd take a pass. Flaky is not dependable, and canceling dates is as bad as being stood-up. It doesn't show a person that you're truly that interested. He lives at home with his parents?!! I mean...seriously?!!
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A
female
reader, asking +, writes (26 September 2018):
Truth is that he sounds like (not to be rude or anything like that but) hes not looking for a serious relationship other wise he would take you serious man up and have some time for you. H would try to contact you and not leave you hanging for 2 days or so. If your looking for a serious relationship then move on he wont take it serious. .
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