A
female
age
30-35,
*hadow Rose
writes:There are guys, mostly online, that have been making perverted comments towards me, and it's kinda hurting my pride, because it makes me think "Do I look like a slut?", and it's just bothering me, because I find it disgusting when some random guy online asks me to give him a bj or something like that...So my dilema is, should I tell my boyfriend about these incidents, so we can talk about this, and I just dont feel comfortable, and my boyfriend has always been there for me, to comfort me when I'm uncomfortable with something... PLUS, I dont want him to see something like that and think I'm unfaithful (because I'm not at all) or anything...BUT, on the other hand, I dont want to trouble him or get him too upset...What should I do?(Background info: He's definitely the one, so he's very special to me, and this has been happening on online sites that have "I'm in a relationship" on my profile, so I'm not unintentionally putting myself out there, and the stuff not online is easilly ignored, so it's not a big issue) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (28 November 2011):
Shadow Rose is verified as being by the original poster of the question The sites are mostly FB and places I'd use to contact him, since its a kind of LDR (20 miles away) , and since my computer isn't usually working, I'm on my DSi, so we're stuck with only a handful of ways to contact eachother.
And he's my best friend, I can tell him anything, but he's also a protector, too, he makes me feel safe. And he makes me feel comfortable.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): I'm with the other 2 answers here, what sites are you using to have such comments?
The easiest bet is to tell these guys not to say what they are saying. If they dont stop, then delete them. Or stop using that particular site (if its attracting guys like this).
Whether you tell your boyfriend is up to you. If you can't tell him then you are obviously on some sites you shouldnt be on. If its facebook then I'd tell him that you deleted a couple guys because they were saying inappropriate things. Enough said
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 November 2011):
 What websites are you on that these random guys are making crude comments??
If it's FB then I would delete these guys off your friends list and block them. Or delete your FB. Any other sites, then I would block them or delete your account.
If you're open with your boyfriend, confide in him like a best friend, he's mild tempered, and you guys have a very trusting relationship, then you could tell him about it. Only after you have deleted your account or blocked these guys so your boyfriend doesn't get all macho and try to tell these online guys off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): First off. Why be online in places where MEN are ABLE to hit on you? I say avoid such places indefinitely for starters.
It surprises me that many think, when I am dating, I don't or won't go places like bars, alone where men hit on me but they don't take this same approach to online?
I think remaining monogamous and being faithful should include avoiding places such as social sites where such 'pigs' can easily tell you such garbage.
If you are unhappy with such comments, the BEST solution is to not put yourself in places where men can be filty and degrading to you.
You want to be trusted, be proactive and live it fully by obstaining from social sites. Its 100% and doesn't leave the door open a crack, know what I mean?
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