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Is he taking things too far with his "interest" in his band?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *usicalMisstress writes:

My boyfriend is a band teacher. I love him with all of my heart but he ALWAYS talks about his students and how much he loves them. There is this one girl, she's a freshman in high school. He always says "She's so awesome!" he has pictures of her and everything!!! When we when on the band trip he was always around her. He comes home late and when I ask him where he was he'll just say I was helping (NOT HER REAL NAME) Starla with her flute. She's in the pep band and he sat by her and got them stuff to eat... this makes me mad!! When everyone was leaving he gave her a hug and a kiss on her cheek. I was standing RIGHT THERE!!! Am I over reacting? He's 38 and he's amazing. Ii love him but this thing with him and starla...... it makes me mad!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

You are being a bit unreasonable. Look I'm not a band director, I'm a choir director and have had many directors in my life. The connection you ending up having with these kids is amazing and it's not like being any other kind of teacher, you get to be with these kids all of their middle school or high school years and see them grow up and their talent bloom. You spend a lot of time with them in and out of school. Its amazing. They end up being almost like your own children.And sometimes you encounter a student with an amount of talent you can't believe and you will do everything you can to have them reach their potential. I was one of these kids.. tho I didn't exactly go on to the business because my two directors were very influential on me and I wanted to conduct and compose music. Im still in frequent contact with them. When I was in high school I guess you could say I was the "starla" along with another guy and girl, they had extra practices with us and at certain points in time I can recall both my male and female teacher hugging me and telling me they loved me and were proud of me at competions or performances. Its nothing sexual, people need to have hope in other people for goodness sakes. If you can't support your husband in what he loves then you need to look elsewhere because this will be for life and there will always be a "starla"

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A female reader, Honey Sweet United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

Honey Sweet agony auntI know, that must be really annoying. Tell him you don't feel comfortable with it and ask him why he does it and if he has a go or stutters about it, you've got to be careful.

If he keeps doing it, really have a go to make him think you're being really serious. and if he doesnt like it and prefers to be with that musical slut (tryin to make you feel better here) late at night in the private life, then he really isnt worth it x x x x x x x x x

i hope this has helped x x x x x

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