A
female
age
41-50,
*ost1977
writes:I was dating a guy for 2 years and 2 months. We were having the usual relationship spatting nothing major. He decides we need a break. We broke up for 2 months. I found out he liked another girl who is married so they can't totally be with one another and that's why he wanted this (break). He won't admit to it and I can't tell him the source how I know so I can't really call him out on it and say I have proof. He calls me last night acting like he has some of my things and wants me to get them which I was nice about it and said I would pick them up some time. Then he goes on hinting about coming to see me and ended up showing up at my house. I was so happy because I do love him and I've missed him like crazy. We had a great night out together and he was giving me a lot of attention and while under the influence mention that he wants to marry me and he was sorry for hurting me etc. I then find out the next day that he e-mailed this girl like 30 min before he called me the day prior professing his love for her and she is the only one he will ever love and he will wait for her no matter how long it takes. So today I'm left feeling weird about the whole situation. Does he love me or her? I need some advice .
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female
reader, lost1977 +, writes (24 November 2008):
lost1977 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you to everyone who responded . I guess deep down i know what i need to do but we as human beings tend to hold onto hope even the littlest . its nice to get opinions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): Always remember, you are the perfect you. You are not in competitions with anyone. You are one of a kind and you are unique. You have something to offer that no one else can. To devalue this is not only sad towards you but it is his loss.
In closing, think about this: " I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do". (quote by Helen Keller).
You need to do what you have to do, what is best for you. I suggest you take an honest look at your relationship priorities.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): Dear Poster
You have the following options as far as I am concerned:
1. Be honest and confront him with the facts;
2. Hang around and live in the shadow of doubt;
3. Stop seeing him, break all contact and move forward without him.
Does he love you or her? From my opinion and experience: He would not want to hurt the person he loves, values and respects; I do think you need to take stock about this situation and please remember that love is not enough to make a relationship or marriage work; respect, trust, communication, compatibility and other factors are vital.
I do understand that you love him and that you would like to be with him; but please make sure that you are not settling for second best; you deserve the best;
I hope this is of assistance; you are welcome to contact me if I can be of any further assistance.
Best wishes; lots of smiles and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, Petina  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 sounds like he does want her but she doesnt want to leave her husband for him, so there fore he is a a bit on the side for her. Send him away to sort his feelings out and ask him to come back when he has finally got the married woman out of his system. Married women don't usually leave their husbands, sounds like she is having her cake and eating it. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): My guess is that he doesn't want to be alone, and since he can't be with the other girl full time, he wants to spend time with you to keep you in the game until she becomes available. Utterly selfish on his part!! Of course, part of her attraction may be that he can't have her, and if she really were available, would he still want her? The question is, do you want to stick around to find out? I think you will be hurt again farther down the road if you do.
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