A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is this taking advantage?I have lent someone money, they are my best friend and he needed help, and the deal was to pay back once a month but this month he couldn't afford it so I said it was ok to miss this month and he was very grateful but now he said that he is going out on a lads night tonight - which has annoyed me. Does this mean hes taking advantage of my good nature?
View related questions:
best friend, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (11 August 2008):
 No you weren't! Hopefully he will learn to treat people with a bit more respect. Depending on what sort of person he is. No one has the right to be out on the piss when they owe someone money. End of. And you need to ask yourself how his mate owes him money if he had to borrow off you. Gotta watch these slippery people sometimes sweetheart. They charm birds out of trees and lie to their own grans.
C xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, thank you all for your answers.I told him on saturday night that he had no right to go out and spend the money he owed me, he turned round and said that his mate owed him £40 so I said that he should of just given that to me and that would be something.Do you think I was a bit harsh?
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 August 2008):
How much money are we talking here?
There is such a thing as small claims court, for amounts under 5k, and you dont have to have the loan in writing. You both go along and the judge decides if he owes you money based on the facts. If he doesn't go, judge will decide with just you there. Order is made on him, if he doesn't pay up agreed amounts, you start recovery proceedings, varies ways of enforcment.
Its about 50 quid. Bit of a drawn out process, can take months from start to finish, but i would subtly let him know you have this option. No you shouldn't of lent him money, i wouldn't lend money to anyone again, ive been where you're at. It sucks. The person i lent money to thought it ok to go off to Mexico on holiday and tried saying his cousin had paid for it. Some people know a soft touch when they see one and are quick to take advantage. But they dont realise we can toughen up just as quick if someone takes the piss.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Too damned right he is. He's about to have a piss-up on your money! He's obviously got no shame or sense of responsibility. I think if I were you I'd ask him how it is that he can afford a piss-up but can't afford to give you back what's yours. I hope this is the one and only time that you lend him anything.
It's a hard lesson to learn, but avoid lending money at all costs, especially to a friend because it has the effect of ruining friendships. Likewise, never borrow money from a friend. If he needed cash that bad, why didn't he go and get a loan from the bank - that's what they're there for. I hope you charge him interest just like the bank would do - after all, you're losing interest on it!
I don't know about being annoyed - I'd be bloody incandescent with rage.
...............................
A
female
reader, SuperSammie +, writes (8 August 2008):
 my boyfriend is very much like this man.
always lending money / saying he has none, but then can afford to go out with the lads.
i think you should ask him how he can afford to go out, yet he can't afford to pay you back. because maybe his mates are paying for all his drinks for the night.
but if he says he is using the money he lent off you then ask why he can't give it back like you agreed, and tell him you need it and want it back monthly.
if he disagrees to do this inform him that it was a deal he had agreed to and say if he doesn't pay it back you will never lend him money again.
or come to another agreement where every monthly payment is less than you origonaly agreed, yes it could take longer to get your money back, but you will definatly get it back.
but if he still messes you around then tell him that you think he is taking you for granted and using you, this could shock him enough to pay you it all back faster. but i wouldn't lend him any more money in the future if he still messes you around.
hope this helps x
...............................
|
