A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am distrustful of my boyfriend so logged into his computer without him knowing. i searched through his internet history and found that he had found porn star images that look exactly like a girl who he works. And I know that girl at his work likes him. i'm sure he likes her. worse is that he saved these internet pages under HER NAME. this is something to be worried about right? he has found porn girls that look A LOT like her. and i hate to think what goes through his mind while he looks at these pictures. how do i approach him about this? if he finds out i got into his computer he will be LIVID. this is something to worry about right?Does all this mean that he wants to havesex with her if he is finding lookalike naked images on the internet?
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female
reader, CleverClover7  +, writes (9 August 2011):
You should leave him. Hands down! Reasons? Well, for one, he is fantasizing about an ACTUAL woman he sees on a daily basis. For two, you obviously don't trust him anyway because you are checking his computer. Therefore there is woman intuition involved. Go with your gut, sweety. Women are usually right when we are suspicious.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 I would be really upset if I found that on his computer, as he's fantasising about a real woman and using porn to fuel his fantasy. That is not respectful or loving to you. I would have a talk with him (and pray that the whole globe can't hear you screaming!) and ask him what is really going on in his mind and why he is using the girl at work's name, if she is just supposed to be a work colleague. And find out what you mean to him. Are you just someone he is with because it is convenient, or does he head over heels love and adore you? I think from his actions, that he hasn't really thought to highly of you at all. I'm not one for porn, but he has taken this way too far. All the best x.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 "then why did he save
the page as HER NAME, because it does look like her..."
What, he saved the page in the name of the girl he knows at work?
I think I'd leave him, unless there's any particularly good reasons to stay (and the "I love him" phrase is not such a reason). That's very distasteful, and while I think you can't know what the man thinks (and having secrets to some degree is fine), going that far is too far. It's showing that he is not loyal to you! It is really terrible of him to be honest, because the way this is done now I would rank it at the same level as getting nude photos from a woman you know and jerk off to that. In his head it's the same thing, and he didn't even bother trying to be discrete! It shows a complete lack of respect for you I am afraid.
Have the talk with him if for nothing else then to get a chance to curse him out and kick him to the curb. Plan what you will say in advance, as I think it's time to leave this one and find someone more respectful and loyal.
I'm sorry to hear someone can act this low, I'm quite shocked to be honest. I do hope you aren't too hurt by him, remember that it says nothing at all about how great a person you are, only says a lot about his character!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondear cupid, as much as i love you, misconstrued the question.she doesnt look like a porn star, far from it. she is an average, quite pretty girl, doesnt wear too much make-up or have big breasts. the point here is that he is finding porn stars that look like HER.thats my problem. "So, there's a porn star who looks like this or girl, or maybe you think she does because you aren't looking at it objectively" - my answer to that is, then why did he savethe page as HER NAME, because it does look like her...i dont care what he jerks off to, just not someone who texts him "friendly" texts at 2am. i dont trust him, suppose i should just end it.thanks for the advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): You're sure he likes her? Don't you think he might like you more, seing as he's with you and not her?
So, there's a pron star who looks like this or girl, or maybe you think she does because you aren't looking at it objectively. But there's people he work with that do not look like porn stars, and there's porn stars he looks at that don't resemble you at all, which is ironic if he only enjoys porn whit actresses who look like people he knows.
My guess: what he jerks off to has nothing to do with any hidden meanings of who he likes or whatnot. It's just something he jerks off to. It doesn't matter.
Girl at work sitation: you feel treathened because, I assume, this girl is pretty, and you lack trust in your boyfriend. Trust is not there regardless of this other girl. I mean you seacrhed his computer for proof of something because you lack trust in him, not because you had any real reason or suspicion of anything.
He'll get mad alirght if you start accusing him of wanting some other girl at work. If you think he secretly wants her then break up with him already, because there is NOTHING he can say or do that will prove otherwise, and if you got your mind set on it you wont ever stop worrying that he's thinking of some other girl while having sex with you.
That aside.. does it really matter? If he's with you and doesn't cheat, what more are you asking? Total control of his mind? To choose what he may think or daydream about? You can't do that.. not with anyone.
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