A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for about two months now. He lives about 2 hours away, so we've went out about 6 times. He's quite shy, especially at first, and has only had one girlfriend who broke up with him 3 years ago. After the first date, he was really sweet and asked if he could kiss me on the cheek (of course I said yes) and he kissed me on both cheeks. On the second date he asked if I thought kissing was making a committment, and I told him that I do.The problem is that now after 6 dates, he *still* has not tried to kiss me. Last time we went out, he held me in his arms and put his head on my shoulder and the back of my neck, but nothing else. Could it be that he is just nervous or thinking that I don't want to commit, or do you think he's just not ready to commit.Also, and this is what worries me the most, is that on 2 or 3 of our dates, he has casually mentioned a female friend of his that, as he told me, he wanted to be with last year, but she rejected him. He hasn't talked to her since September, but she called him up two weeks ago cause "she was bored". I think it's obvious that she doesn't want to date him, but I can't figure out if he's still holding out for her, or if he does like me. Do you think we have a chance together?
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broke up, kissing, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 He got scared because he's realised he does have feelings for you. He probably didn't realise how emotions can grab you as deeply as they do. Although he asked you out to begin with he still seems a bit overwhelmed about the intensity a relationship can bring. Play it cool with him though and don't add to the pressure.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I'm curious, though, why he would've gotten scared when he asked me to begin with (out of the blue, I might add). Is that normal guy behavior?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): Hi there,Reply to your email I think he is just nervous and on the other hand dose not know what to do with this other woman but I think he just wants to get it right with you try talking to him and asking him to try talking to this other woman to tell her he has moved on you are with a chance of being together and make it work not confusing him like the other woman waltz back in when all of a sudden seeing you.Good Luckxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (17 February 2007):
You have scared him off when you said you thought kissing was making a commitment to you. Just the very word "commitment" to some guys makes them want to run a mile. Next time he brings up this "friend," ask him how he feels about her. Tell him to be honest with you, after all you're not committed to one another and see what he says.
He might say she's only a friend and nothing more or he may say he really likes her and would love to see her again. If he isn't interested in her romantically then I sugges you kiss HIM on the lips at the end of the night and see if he accepts it.
You really need to know where you stand here though so I think asking him about this "friend" should be done sooner rather than later as I'm sure it's eating away at you.
Eve
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