A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:I have been with my 42yesr old boyfriend for 4 months, and we are living together, I'm 39. We are in love and plan to have a family and marry at some point (hopefully)Recently I have been having some doubts about his sincerity, and caught him lying a few times- nothing big- just little things...for instance, I checked his phone to see who he had been messaging in the day while I'm at work, and he says no-one. Then last week, I found a profile on a porn site looking for swingers and causal flings. It was dated before I met him, but it sounded like him, and also was his password. When I showed him- he said he'd never seen it before and that it must have been someone else playing a joke when he was in the forces. I understand that a lot of this might have been before he met me, but it makes me feel doubious. Will it pass? Am I over-reacting? It feels like he's going through the motions, and not entirely sincere- though his actions are perfect when he is with me...Any comments?Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, freeme  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Red Flag.
He may have been into the porn thing before he met you, but lying about it is more serious in my opinion.
How will you ever trust him? If he can lie about this what else can he lie about?
I have zero tolerance for lies, except for when they serve the greater good. When used for deceit, they make a person unknowable and impossible to trust.
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