A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy said he wanted to be fwb, but when i told him that i'm not comfortable with that, he said he is ok with being just friends (without the benefits). Do you think he's just pretending that he's ok with that though, and that he'll still keep trying to get me to have sex with him? It's confusing. He said he wants to go to the theatre with me and go out for coffee. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): He'll keep trying, men are pretty stupid that way. Don't go out with him at all, find a real friend or a bf. Players are some of the biggest assholes, better to avoid them completely.
A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (31 January 2012):
I think that young single women should avoid fwb like the plague. These arrangements nearly always hurt the female badly so you are right to be very wary. I do think his intentions will continue to be sexual.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): Just do things with him that you would do with a friend. Don't let him pay, pay for yourself. Don't let him treat you, that could mean strings may be attached. And if it's all too much of a strain, don't bother. This whole FWB thing is a bit nightmare - an excuse for unscrupulous people to have sex with no strings - but most people would like to be either 'just friends' or 'dating', not this weird half way house.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): I agree with the other anonymous male poster. This guy wants to be your 'friend' just so he can get you comfortable enough to sleep with him. Alternately, he might suddenly 'develop feelings' after hanging out a while - at which point he'll try to get you to sleep with him, and then he'll likely disappear.
If a guy expresses an interest in sex, especially when he's not looking for something serious, then that's going to continue to be on his mind any time he's around you. Constantly. Forever.
You risk getting hurt if you accept his offer and begin spending time with him. He's warned you that all he wants is a FWB. Please heed it, and avoid being his 'friend' since you aren't looking for an arrangement like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): Yeah, he's okay with it because he knows you'd only agree to this if you really liked him so eventually you'll give in. You'll wind up FWB and he'll get what he wants.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 what do YOU think? cause to be honest YOU have a better idea of him than WE do....
the best way to figure it out is to spend time with him and if he keeps trying to have sex with you then you'll know he's a douche bag (my new favorite term from here)
so go to the theater and go for coffee and do NOT go anywhere with him that he could pressure you into having sex. (like his place or your place or a hotel or even in a car)
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