A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, a year ago I started a new weekend job and met this guy. I instantly felt attracted to him, and we started talking. Gradually, we started texting and hanging out after work, and after about a month we kissed. Every time we met up after that we kept kissing, and he was beginning to get really affectionate with me- e.g. ringing me on new year's eve at midnight to tell me I was beautiful, which made me melt. About 3 months after we first met, he send me a text saying "i really like you." Now, this part is entirely my fault: I'd only just gotten out of a really complicated relationship and my head was still all over the place, so it freaked me out and I backed right off. We stopped socialising outside work, although we stayed on friendly terms.Up until about a month and a half ago. Randomly, he turned up at my house and we hung out. He made me laugh and was sweet to me. After, like, the 3rd or 4th time we started kissing again. Now it's progressed to foreplay- he's fingered me, I've tossed him off. Last weekend, I get an email from him saying 'I think I'm properly falling for you.' I knew he was out drinking that night, so I asked the next morning if it was the drink talking and he said 'brought on by the drink, but it's exactly what i meant.' Yet he hasn't asked me on a date or to be with him although surely he knows I'd say yes?Now can someone PLEASE tell me if he genuinely likes me or he's saying what I want to hear so he can get sex from me?! Sorry about the essay but I just have no idea- I kind of suck at trusting people.Oh, and one more thing. Aout 3 months ago, he mentioned in conversation 'a girl he's been in love with.' Whether or not that applies now I don't know.
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 He could be telling the truth, but even with that in mind, there are plenty of things you two could do for dates that don't cost much. If he keeps giving reasons and excuses rather than finally just say 'hey, let's go out', you should move on to someone else that's sure they want to date you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate:
@Gamine No, I know he isn't in any kind of committed relationship. I took your advice and asked him why we hadn't been on any dates or anything if he likes me. He got really flustered and said he was embarrassed to bring it up because he doesn't have very much money (which I also know to be true).
So guys, is this another excuse, or does that male pride complex really exist?!
Another point I probably should have mentioned: I am really, really cautious about anything sexual because of a hideous first time that made me afraid to get close to anyone.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (9 October 2010):
I agree with slimfish, it sounds like it's both. He may just be the type that's not looking for a relationship, but wouldn't be opposed to all the benefits of one. You won't know for sure until you ask him, though.
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A
male
reader, Manofathousendlies +, writes (9 October 2010):
 If he just wanted sex then he wouldn't have paid this much attention and been friends with you for this long. This is meant to be. Instead of waiting for him to ask you out, try to ask him out first and take it from there.
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 i think , both. he really likes you and he wants to have sex with you. if thats not what you want, then tell him what you do want.
why dont you ask him out on a date?.
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