A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfiend for over 3 years.. i love him to bits. Only for the past 3 months we have been arguing so so much!He says im controlling and wont let him have a social life, and although i tell him ill do my best to stop and let him grow, i havent honestly tried my harder.I dumped him in a rage, he told me that he had been texting a friend from work, its a known fact this friend absolutely fancies him, but he is adament they are only friends; i just didnt feel comfy with him texting and meeting her, giving her the wrong idea. 2 minutes after i said sorry and that i didnt meen it but he wont get back with me, and weve both agreed its best to have a bit of time alone, to grow and to get back our social lives. He keeps ringing me though, telling me everything hes been doing and continually saying he wants me back, in the future; that hes split us up with the intention of getting back together in the future making our relationship a much better one without the arguments.It so confusing... Should a take it as the end?? Is he just trying to keep hold of me to talk to and use until he finds someone else, or is he genuinely focused on getting back with me when things have settled? I haven got a clue!!
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female
reader, CaliGurl +, writes (8 January 2008):
Perhaps he is afraid of not contacting you throughout this time apart since you are the one who initiated the breakup. He may feel that if he does not keep in touch then you may find life easier without him, which he is probably fearing. Perhaps he really does want time apart to grow but truly intends for you to be together in the future. And personally I don't think he should have any contact with this girl from work who is crushing on him, maybe he really just wants to be friends with her but you're right, she is going to take his sudden interest in her as a wrong message for something else. If you mean something to him then he will keep his relationship with her strictly work related.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Me neither! I suspect he could be playing a little game with you.
Try to get him to refrain from contacting you for, say, two weeks while you get your head together, and give him a chance to do the same. he might realise what he's missing, and you might realise you could do better. Call it a cooling off period if you like.
If after that time you still want each other then give it another go, but insist on seeing any texts he sends to this 'friend' at work. Not that you could enforce the rule, but it's worth letting him know you're not going to be walked all over.
Phil
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