A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a really great guy online. He's a few years older than me, divorced - I was never married, just engaged, though both our partners cheated on us - both these relationships ended about 5 years ago.I have a kid which this guy has known about since day one. He calls all the time, and texts and we met up for a few hours a couple of weeks ago.Here's the thing. I really like him, he can chat for ages (like me lol)and there's never a lull, he makes me laugh and he's not a bad looking guy either! In the past I've liked guys and waited for them to ask me out so I decided to have no more regrets and had nothing to lose so last week I asked him out, though it was the same day cause I had a sitter and he already had plans. Fair enough not much warning though a couple of times before I had kinda asked him out and it never happened. He's texted a few times saying we should meet up for a drink or go to the movies.At the weekend he texted so i asked did he still wanna hang out sometime. He replied yes he did so I asked about this Wednesday (ie tomorrow) and he said that should be ok.So my problem is - do i:1) - my choice! - text him later if I don;t hear from him to see if we're still on and what he wants to do or 2) my friends answer! - let him contact meI know if I go with 2) then I'll really know he's interested but I'm not sure I can wait til tomorrow to find out if I have plans. There is something else I want to go do but obviously I'd rather get to know him better. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Thanks guys. I'm gonna try not to contact him tonight or even tomorrow. There's a workshop on Wed night that it wouldn't bother me if I missed but if I don't hear from him by 6pm then I'll go to pass the couple of hours.
I think part of my problem is that I've been off work 2 weeks so when I don't have my child I have way too much time on my hands to think lol.
I haven't really dated anyone for 2 years (and that only lasted a couple of months and he was lying to me). My family have had a lot on the past year with serious illnesses etc and now I don't think I could jump right into the dating thing. Id like to get to know this guy better as a friend and who knows (I just have to keep telling myself to hang out with guys and not treat it as being in any sort of relationship - hard cause I was with my ex for 10 years from school!).
He's told me loads of personal stuff about his family, him, mentioned about his ex wife and a couple of ex girlfriends (who were a bit psycho!) and there have been no red flags. So here's hoping he gets in touch - he knows I'm (kinda) free on Wed and hopefully he'll remember thats tomorrow. Will let you know x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): I agree with Pon...his advice is good and to the point. You met him a couple weeks ago, in 'real' life? And nothing came from that? If that's the case, then he's likely is not interested in dating you. But don't be disheartened. It just means he's not the one for you. Sweety, there's a good chance he's meeting other potential love interests online..you aren't the only one. You have to know that...right? Look, he's not shy..you two get along and can talk without any lulls. All I see here is a great friendship, in the making. You know that old saying, "if you snooze, you lose". Men really, really understand the meaning of this phrase. Even the most shyest guy will quickly realize, that the dating world is 'cut-throat'. He knows he'll have to muster up the courage to ask a female out, fast and if he doesn't...some other guy will replace him. This guy is not shy, so why isn't he making his move? Because he's in the 'friend zone' and comfortable where he's at. Just being your friend. It really sounds like he just wants someone to talk to, without the constraints of a serious dating relationship. So..Let him contact you, hun...do not email him and ask about the 'date night' (wed) plans. Leave it...he knows how to get in touch with you. Let him be your friend if that's what you want but just focus your attentions on someone else, who is more responsive. So, on Wednesday nite, have a plan..If you don't hear from him tomorrow...make other plans and don't sit around waiting and pining away for him. Get out with some galpals and have a blast. Good luck, hun and take care.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 From what I can tell from your tale, he doesn't seem to put much effort into going out with you. That would bother me. To answer your multiple choice question (O.K., only 2 choices), I'd be inclined to agree with your friends. If he's interested, he'll make the move. He seems to be on the fence. If he doesn't make an effort, it's time to move on.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Set youeslf a time. Wait until say midday tomorrow, if you here nothing, text him. You may think he may not care if he doesn't contact you, but really, that's men for you! A lot of them are like you, and he may feel like he is pushing you too much.
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A
female
reader, Crisy +, writes (8 January 2008):
 I think you should text him tonight, but start the conversation casual, then ask him. Good luck, I hope you enjoy tomorrow.
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