A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a month or so ago, and I really like him. We've gone on a few dates to the cinema and just spent days together, and we told each other one night that we both liked each other. But recently, his texts have become less and less each day, but still says he wants to continue meeting up. However, I haven't seen him for over a week. He's an electrician, and is normally really busy, which I understand. I keep messaging him to see how he is and just to try and start a general conversation, but I feel like I'm bothering him and that I look really needy. He's told me before that he has committment issues, and now I'm wondering if it was just an excuse for him to stay single while seeing me. What should I do? I really do want to keep seeing this guy. Shall I play him at his own "game" if thats what it is, or just give up or wait around to see if anything develops? I'm so confused.
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female
reader, Foxxy1  +, writes (12 August 2011):
Read this article:You know the drill: you meet cute somewhere. You go out. You have a wonderful time: laughing, sharing common interests and making ironic statements about popular culture. You might have even shared a kiss (or more) as a nightcap. In a phrase: you clicked! Or at least you thought as much, but here you are six days later and no call, text or email. Your date seems to have moved on- but why haven’t you? Why do the memories of certain dates haunt us longer than the date itself?One theory is simply that of narrative incompleteness. When you open yourself to the start of a potential relationship by going out on a date (or a few) – and it goes well- you often visualize the entire relationship (or at least all the good parts) based on this experience. This is called the narrative. Some may have even tried to figure out which features are going to get inherited in the future children. In essence, you get carried away in your narrative. The reality of early dating often comes back to stomp on the daydream. It ruins our story! And research has found that continued distress comes out of an individual’s inability to construct a narrative ending to the experience. Since you don’t know why he hasn’t called, you think you can’t finish the story. So you review, recount, and generally ruminate about why a good date didn’t grow into something more.When a person doesn’t call, it’s important to finish the story on their behalf. Providing a complete account of the story is going to give you a deeper awareness and understanding of why it didn’t work out (even if it was just one date). You can reflect on the situation without the sting of the emotions, eliciting a clearer understanding of what happened. While it might be harsh to conclude that your date just didn’t feel the same potential about a relationship, placing a finale on the story allows you to establish a sense of control, closure, and increase in self esteem. It doesn’t matter that the specific reason is coming from you, and not the vanished date. In the end they didn’t call because they weren’t the right date for you. Telling a complete story elevates you from hapless character in a comedy of errors to author of your own dating destiny.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 I'm 28 and I've had my fair share of dates, guys who stopped calling, guys who called too often and so on.
This guy doesn't seem that interested anymore and there isn't much you can do about it unfortunately. His spiel about commitment issues is pure bs. If a guy is really interested in you and wants to keep seeing you he's not going to give you that line. If you were interested in someone and couldn't wait to see them again, would you not contact them for a whole week?
My best advice to you (and I speak from mistakes I made) would be to leave him alone. If he's interested he'll come to you, easy as that. If he's no longer interested, no amount of texts from you will change his mind...they'll just make you feel crappy when he doesn't respond or gives you half arsed answers.
The way I see it, if you stop contacting him and never hear from him again you'll have your answer. If you keep in contact and he keeps replying but not really giving you much interest back, you'll just stay confused.
Guys don't want to hurt our feelings by telling us they're not interested in us, they'll just start ignoring us and not replying to our texts and messages. That hurts us more but they don't realise that.
So, chin up, you've got better things to do with your time. This guy isn't for you, that is all. When you meet a guy who is truly interested in you, you will see that what this guy is doing is trying to blow you off.
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