A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:Ive been seeing a guy for about 8 months now, from the start he has been chasing me. he is 26 and i have just turned 20. We both have a lot in common and are comfortable around each other. we see each other as often as we can (3-4 times a week)and he always texts me after our dates or the morning after telling me how he had fun and asks how iam etc and when is the next time iam free so we can both see each other.Last we night we slept together for the first time. We were making out and he asked if i wanted to have sex, i was a virgin but i felt ready for it in that moment. i was in a lot of pain as he was quite big and iam quite petite. he talked me through it the whole time asking if i was in pain if he wanted me to stop etc and was extremely considerate. even though it was painful i wanted to keep going until he came. he seemed pretty upset while we were having sex, i asked him why and he said the look on my face ( i was in pain but also pleaure) was making him feel bad for me. After we finished he said, okay lets never do that again. i asked why and he said i looked like i was in so much pain, but i convinced him it was my first time and that it would be uncomoftable.On the way back he kept asking if i was feeling ok. this morning i did not hear anything from him, we didnt have any plans to see each other tonight as we are both busy but i was hoping he would text me like he usually does to ask if im okay but he didnt. so i texted him in the afternoon telling him i felt sad he didnt text me and i asked if he was ok and asked if i put him off. he replied back saying his phone was flat until now (only then i remembered his phone was flat since last night) and said there was no way he'd be put off by me and asked how i was and what i was up to.i told him i was good but felt a bit sore and that i was planning to spend the day in and watch tv.he replied back saying he was doing nothing either and was watching tv as well. i didnt really have much to say so i told him to have fun watching tv. and left it at that.iam just wondering if he would be over me now that we've had sex? or another reason?
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female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (23 January 2010):
 Well it would have been nice if he charged his phone and called, but you said yourself you did know it was flat so dont read too much in to that alone - not just yet anyway.
He did keep seeing you for 8 months without sex, he did seem considerate and concerned for you during and after having sex, ... but he might be feeling a bit disturbed that he hurt you, and being a little aloof is just his way of dealing with it.
Give it a bit of time and see how it pans out.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (23 January 2010):
 Its not over, its just begining.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (23 January 2010):
Oh honey, no I don't think that at all. It seems like you have a really caring guy. No man would date a woman for 8 months with no sex if he didn't really care about you. What's happened is he wanted your first time to be wonderful but instead you had a bad experience and he is probably feeling absolutely awful about it. Men really take great pride in being good lovers and also in protecting their woman and he's feeling now like he did neither and probably feeling pretty useless as a man.
Most guys are terrible at emotional stuff, and don't know how to handle awkward situations, so he's just retreated about it. You are bringing it up in search of the emotional reassurance you need, but he doesn't realize that, and to him you are just bringing up an awkward situation that makes him feel bad. Also the more insecure you are about it the worse you will make it.
Trust in the fact that you have a good man, give him a little space to lick his wounds, and then when you do get together try to reconnect with him by building some positive happy moments together. Let him know that he's such a wonderful guy you don't want to give up til you get it right, or something like that. But I really don't think you have to worry that he's going to leave.
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A
male
reader, Sal84  +, writes (23 January 2010):
 Hi Princess, Your guy seems to be a caring person and I am sure he would not be over with you just yet. However, do understand that you have indeed managed to scare him a bit but remember he was scared not to hurt you in any way. So try to be normal with him the way you were earlier and if the topic comes up again, try to make him smile by making a funny face & asking him if that was the way your face looked when you guys were doing it. Next time you do it be ready with some vaginal gel which would ease the pain. Always use a condom and have safe sex.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (23 January 2010):
 He sound very sensible and reasonable. He is as he should be. So, there is no reason for you to worry about your relationship. Just be happy.
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