A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm looking for some advice...I met this guy at a friend's wedding back in August and we got drunk, talked for hours, and hooked up. The next morning we had the usual 'if we're ever in each others cities, we should meet up' chat (we live in different countries so it was never going to be a serious relationship). I gave him my phone number, and he texted me within a couple of days and we've texted back and forth since. He's pretty flirty in his texts, saying things like he wishes he could be spending the day in bed with me and stuff. Last week I texted him to say that I'm going to be visiting a friend in his city next month and asked if he's around then (he travels a lot for work so he might be away). Since then, I've had no reply. It seems weird that he didn't even text and say 'sorry, will be out of town that weekend' or something.Should I assume that he's decided he's not interested in hooking up again, despite his texts, and he can't even be bothered texting me an excuse? Or that he's having some issue with his phone? Or that he's been kidnapped... (okay, scraping the barrel of excuses there!)To be honest, I'm kind of gutted that he didn't even text back with a lame excuse, when he was apparently so into me when texting before (also since his manners are good it's odd that he's left me hanging).My big question is: when I'm in his part of the world, should I give him the benefit of the doubt and text again, saying something like 'hey, I'm in town till monday, text if you want to meet up for a drink' or should I just assume that his non-reply means he's definitely not interested and that texting again will only make me look needy or desperate?Any advice would be helpful, I really don't want to make an idiot out of myself!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): If you sent one international text then there is a chance he didn't receive it... try sending him an email or something. Don't seem like you look desperate, just casually ask if he wants to meet up. I think then you'll know for sure what to do for the situation..good luck!
A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (18 October 2009):
 If you think this is the end of your correspondence anyway, providing he doesnt text back, I dont see why you shouldnt text him while you're in the city. What does it matter if you seem needy if you were never going to see him again anyway? If he doesnt reply then, then you can just forget about him without wondering whether he just hadnt seen your text or whatever. If he does reply and doesnt want to meet you, youve lost nothing more than if you hadn't texted him. But if you text him and he meets you, you could have a great time. Personally I'd go for it, considering the above, and my philosophy that we should seize the day, as it were. Why not just go for it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): Text him again when you get there. what have you got to lose? the worst that can happen is he doesnt reply in which case you will be in exactly the same position as you are now, and you never know... he could have been kidnapped! xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 October 2009):
You've tried to get his attention and he hasn't responded. I'm afraid he's not interested. So don't bother with him, and instead let yourself heal and find a guy who will want you. Good luck.
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