A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:please can anyone explain this-i feel like im going insanei work with this guy who ive developed feelings for. hes unaware but likes me a lot and we do get on really well. hes had a lot of stuff going on-his marriage ended last year and he hasnt handled it great and seems to have a lot of issues. anyway my biggest problem is hes confided in me about lots and ive been happy to listen and support him but somethings telling me he lies a lot. when we have lunch/ coffee he never pays and i get embarrassed and always pay and say nothing-it does annoy me that he never offers but then he'll go on about how much he has saved-how many houses he owns-but never has money like last week i gave him 50 quid to see him til payday. i dont mind its just irking me that i feel hes lying. is he lying am i imagining all this ?its hurtful because he says im a good friend to him but i feel my only use is making sure he gets lunch etc. why is he like this can anyone explain please
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 He might be lying... but obviously he is still getting you to loan him money, so his "scam" seems to work just fine.
I would honestly back off.
A
female
reader, Si Si  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Dear girl...how can you have "developed feelings' for this man who is already treating you with such scant respect?Don`t you feel you deserve better than picking up the tab constantly for a freeloader? This man is obviously a "user'and and men of this character will often discard someone when they are of no more "use" Of course you both get on well together, that will continue as long as you keep paying and loaning him money...Do watch what happens when you stop!Be brave and don`t allow yourself to be a sucker one moment longer.You can do it!! I wish you happiness
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 He is a con man .He is taking advantage of your gullibility and having lunch on you . Don't give him any money or spend lunch on him .
Don't be a fool.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): This is ridiculous. He is just using you not only for lunch and the occasional loan (trust me this will become a common occurrence if you do not put a stop to it) but to bitch and moan about his life. Does he ask about your life? Does he help you with your problems?
If not he is an emotional and financial leech.
Next time, find someone else to go out with for lunch or just tell him upfront that you do not have any money to spend on him.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Hun, maybe it is time to start challenging him on all this money he has..... next time you go out for lunch tell him he is paying as you dont have any money..... either that or stop taking him out to lunch!!Often you find that the people who always talk about having the most are the people who have the least and the way they feel good about themselves is to boost their self image - in short they have an inferiority complex.Yes, the guy probably has gone through some tough times with his divorce, but time to call it quits... stop lying about how much he has and be honest.And.... are you a good friend because you sit and listen to all his moans and groans and boasting AND you pay for lunch and coffee too??Honeygirl
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