A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:question: i'm starting 2 feel my boyfriend doesn't care about me well first off we are long distant relationship so i feel we should communicate more to feel closer to each other well he got me mad cause he was lagging it and than when i called him he said he was talking to his mom and so i threw my phone to the wall and it broke so that day he didn't call me cause he fell asleep so it got me mad that he kept saying i'll call you later and he never did. the next day we hung out so it was fine friday he called me to let me know where he was going but before i went out we talked for an hour and when i got home he was falling asleep so we didn't talk than saturday it was the same he was busy and i was annoyed so i turned off my phone. sunday we hung out so it was fine than today monday he didn't even call me i called him we talked for 20 mins. and than he didn't call so i just called him but he didn't want to talk cause he had to wake up early is he loosing interest or is this just not enough communication ?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2011):
 so you go to him.... hmmm... does he make an effort to make plans and contact you... does he ever ask you to come over or is it always YOU making the plans?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): hi i'm the orginal poster & i want 2 tell you ladys thanks 4 the advice i'm going 2 take it & let him breathe, just 2 answer some questions he lives a hour away & i'm the one that goes 2 see him i would take the bus over there which was a 2 hr. bus ride so i at least feel he should call me cause he doesn't come over here 2 me 2 visit me now i have a car so it is a hr drive but anyway thanks so much i will just have 2 let him know i want daily contact maybe talk at night or just 2 see if he is okay thanks :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Not enough communication ? What do you want, to sew him to your skirts ?
From what you say, in a week you either met or had longish conversations on the phone every day and when you did not, it was because you had either broken or turned off your phone. Frankly, you sound rather clingy and temperamental too, I think it's time you start being less demanding and more independent.
Of course, as SVF rightly says, in a relationship you must compromise and find a middle way that works for both, so if you really feel you need more contact , you can talk and agree on how much effort he should make and when. You can work it out. But you have to make a big effort too, on your side, to become less needy and attention hungry !
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2011):
I'm confused... (hence my name)... are you LD or not?
if you hung out twice in less than a week... how long distance can you be?
Folks need space... even folks that LIVE together need space...
You seem to have a bit of a temper (throw your phone because he's talking to his mom???) and then you broke your phone or turned it off.. How is he supposed to get a hold of you???
Do you expect him to clear every one of his movements with you?
It sounds to me like you need way more time and attention than he is able to provide.
I get it... I like a LOT of attention... my BF/fiancé is more of a loner... WE had to talk about what was acceptable contact. I WANT daily contact. He does not need it. And yet he was willing to compromise and have daily phone calls to make me comfortable. I on the other hand had to accept that there were going to be times we did not have that multiple daily contact time.
Women need to be close to love and miss a man... for men it's often the opposite... the less contact they have the more they love and appreciate and miss us.
Give him a chance to miss you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): I agree with the other comment. You need to give him a bit of space to breathe and do what he wants, which allows you to do what you want as well, instead of waiting for him to phone and getting angry with him when he doesn't. Maybe take a step back and arrange something with him so that you still talk enough, just maybe not everyday. Maybe ring every other day at 7 or something? At least that way you can both do whatever you want during the day, and still know that you'll be in contact with each other later
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): Hello
It sounds like this guy doesn't have space to breathe! Dont force him to call you or you could risk pushing him away, if he wants to call then he will but when you are in a relationship, long distance or not, you are entitled to a life outside of each others company. It sounds like you get to hang out often anyway and you say each day that you hang out is fine. But just because you aren't with each other you can't get annoyed you aren't hearing from him 24hours a day. The days you dont see each other go see friends or go to work. It will take your mind off of missing him, but just because you miss him you can't take that out on him. Some relationships work and they spend time on opposite sides of the world. Feel happy if he has chosen to call you, rather than worry it's not at a certain time. You are young and a relationship should be fun!
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