A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've recently become intimate with a boy who I've known for about 2 years. We've been out before but that was a year ago and it didn't work out. Now I'm single again after a relationship, he wants to become 'friends with benefits'. This is fine with me, and we've been doing things for about a month, but recently ive been getting feelings for him again. He's already told me that he doesn't want a relationship but I really want one. I dont know whether to tell him how i feel because im scared i'll scare him off and Im worried that he's just having sex with me until he finds someone better.. Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 DO NOT TELL HIM until you are ready to leave... then you tell him "I have to end our FWB arrangement because I'm developing feelings for you"
You need to walk (no RUN) away NOW. It's only going to get worse... women (especially young teenaged women) CANNOT have sex without developing feelings for a boy...
the old saying "women need a reason to have sex men just need a place" is often very true.
the longer you sleep with him, the more you will feel, the more you will hope he feels something, the more you will read into every little thing he says or does and the MORE and MORE you will hope it's becoming a real relationship...
It's NOT he made that clear... and no amount of great sex is going to change that for him.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Well, yes, it makes sense that he is just using you for sex until he finds someone better- he may have not said it in so many words but it's implied in the arrangement itself.
If he insisted on FWB only, it means he does not see you as gf material. He TOLD you he does not want a relationship ( which 99% of times means " I don't want a relationship WITH YOU " ), plus you dated already last year and that did not work.
Draw your conclusions...
I think this arrangement could work until it was equal in expectations - just sex for both; but if you change unilaterally the terms of the agreement, - that's your problem, he is not obliged to correspond your feelings.
I don't think telling him your feelings would accomplish anything . Do it if you wish, but don't be surprised if the answer is " Oh. SO ?..."
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