A
female
age
51-59,
*ostinlove1001
writes:I've known of the guy in question for several years. He is pretty close friends with some acquantinences of mine. (they are just acquantices, i dont feel comfortable making them privy to this, so asking for their help is OUT OF THE QUESTION) All i've ever heard are nice things about him...what a decent guy he is, how straightforward he is, etc, etc, etc..ok. So, I asked this guy out last week. He is a general contractor, and is actually doing some work on my friends house (he finished the job last week) He seemed suprised, but happy that i asked and agreed quite ahppily to go out with me. i asked about going that evening, a saturday night, but he already had plans. I wanted to remove the pressure so I said "well, you give me a call when you are free". He asked me to pick a date the following week, so I did. I picked the date, he picked the time and the place to meet. He suggested a really nice swanky cigar bar on the east side, really nice...I called to confirm the night before and got no response. I called again the day of, got no response. I called a few hours later and finally got him on the line. He apologized for not getting back to be sooner, told me he was going to job and was planning on giving me a call as soon as he arrived there to guage whether or not he would make it back in time. He said he likley wouldnt be able to make it but said, "if not tonight, then definitley another night" I totally understood and said, "no problem, give me a call and let me know".I did not hear from him that evening, nor the next day. I KNOW that this man is insanley busy with work, and do not doubt that whatsoever, but my question is...am i experiencing a blow off here? He did seem quite interested in person and sounded happy over the phone, and even said that we would DEFINITLEY go out another night...but my own self doubt is sneaking in there and I am not sure what my next course of action should be.From what i know, he has never had any qualms telling girls he is not interested in just that...that hes not interested (in a completley nice and decent way). i know of three personally he has squashed advances from. I would think if he werent interested he would just say so to me as well. i like this guy a lot, but dont want to seem like a stalker, if he's not interested I wont bother him again...no problem. What should I do? Call again or forget it? Do you think there is interest there? The signals are so mixed in that he happily agreed to go out with me, picked a great place to go, made me choose a different day when he wasnt avail on my first choice, said he was going to call, has to cancel but suggests a different day...versus...the fact that he didnt return my call quickly, made me call him three times, and still hasnt called (the next day).What do you guys think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): when a guy wants you, he is really going to try to make some free time, even when he is that busy. I think...
tell him that you understand his situation, that you like him but that it's rally hard to just wait for a call or a text.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): He sounds like a popular bloke and he probably enjoys the attention. Don't be needy and keep phoning him. You really want him to phone you of his own free will. So wait, just sit it out and if he doesn't phone or if it takes him ages to phone, that is an indicator of his interest in you.
Actually, come to think of it, if he was really that interested, i'm sure he'd have found the time by now.
Like your forward style though, why not ask someone else so that you haven't got all your eggs in one basket.?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 It is entirely possible that he is very busy with his job...but it would be a basic courtesy to ring you to cancel a date as it takes just one minute! I think you have done the chasing right up until now. Stop calling him and see what happens. If he does ring for a date, don't be too available. If he doesn't ring you, he is just not that interested. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to date you at all but if he cannot be bothered to sort it out then he is lazy...not a good start to a happy relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I don't think he's blowing you off. I think he is interested but consumed with work right now. The best thing you can do is lay low and not ask him about going out again. When things settle down for him, I think he'll reach out to you. I know the temptation might be for you to try to contact him again, but I highly recommend you don't. Give him that chance to reach out to you. The added pressure on him might actually turn him off. At some point, however, he has to make time and if he doesn't, quite frankly, his loss!
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A
female
reader, fishy fish +, writes (12 August 2010):
From what it seems the guy has a crazy job and hectic schedule but sweety let's face it you asked him out then you followed up, he never called back then he promised to call you when he's free to set a date and he didn't so far, we can't jump into conclusion right now, but i strongly advice you to stop and i mean STOP any further effort with this guy!!!!! no matter how busy he is there's always time for a phone call if he wants to!
You were nothing but a wonderful and genuine lady but some men love doing the first move and enjoy the thrill of the very first start of the dating process, so let him do it and ask you out , if you don't hear from him then it means he was never interested, if he calls let him do the effort , just watch and observe ! After all men are men and women are women don't inverse the roles dear especially at the very first start.
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A
male
reader, Cloverfield +, writes (12 August 2010):
 I think you can afford to give him the benefit of the doubt here. As you say, saying no is not an issue for him, so it does sound as if he's interested. I wouldn't persue him any more, but I wouldnt be suprised if you hear from him fairly soonish either.
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