A
female
age
30-35,
*ueen14
writes:Ok um 21 n I lasted with my ex which now is 26 let's call him "joe" almost 3 yrs n we broke up like a month ago.. Couple of days later I meet this guy he's 22 let's call him "danny" ok so now were dating n I felt kinda guilty 4 moving on so fast but its not like I did it 2 b messed up, now my ex wants 2 work things out according 2 him but now I kinda have a thing 4"Danny" but "joe" doesn't no aything bout him "joe" keeps on txtng me n telling he wants me back n I love him but I can't take him back he hurt me in the past n constantly keeps on acting stupid I need help wat should I do should I block "joe" out of my life n try with "Danny" but wat if "Danny" ends up hurting me??? Should I take the risk?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 I think your making the right decision.
Hope it all works out for you!
A
female
reader, queen14 +, writes (13 August 2010):
queen14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanx guys u guys r right I gotta move on 4 my own happiness n I will n thanx again 4 ur support :)
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (12 August 2010):
Sometimes you have to take a risk in life to progress. If joe has hurt you in the past then its likley he will do it again.
If you stay with Danny then yes, he may hurt you or you may hurt him but only time will give you the answer to that.
The best advise I can give you is take a long time to think about what you really want. Joe, knowing hes hurt you and will probably do the same again or Danny who might or might not hurt you.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Hi there. The first guy you went with for almost 3 years, hurt you and acted immature. That's probably why you left him, I'm guessing. If you considered going back with him, just because he texts you, he would do it all over again. People don't change. History repeats itself over and over. Consider the fact he hurt you once and is very likely to do it again - and again. Don't risk it.
You happened to meet this new guy only a couple of days after the first relationship ended. With a new relationship so soon after the previous freshly ended one, it's often a case of rebound. Even though you probably like him a fair bit.
I suggest that you take it very slowly (with the new guy), and just remain friends for a while to see how things go. You don't want to rush things yet. The more you take things slowly, the less anxious you will become about being hurt. Especially, as it's so soon after the other one ending. You need to be sure of what you really want. Get to know yourself a bit better.
Start to go out with your friends again, and make a life for yourself. After all, you had nearly 3 years of the last one. During that time, you most likely didn't see your friends so much and got a bit out of touch with them.
Perhaps don't see this new guy too often - see if you can just see each other once a week, so you can each do other stuff. You each need some space, and that also tests the friendship as you can actually think about him to see how you feel when you're not together. You don't need to be together every single day and night. It can become stifling.
Inside any relationship, you need to have the freedom to be yourself completely. Not compromise a lot of the time just to please them. Don't be too ready to say how you feel with this new guy. Even if he asks you after a while. Otherwise if you jump in too soon saying "I love you", you might be taken for granted. Then you will get hurt. If you let him know you're too keen, it might make you appear needy or desperate. You need to keep your independence.
Good luck. Best Wishes.
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