A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am married and despite the fact that I love my wife very much, I seem to be attracted to other girls as well. Not to the extent of getting to know them or get physical with them though, just simply having a good look at them. I am not a pervert or hyper sexual person and have only had sex with my wife (never had sex before marriage). Now recently I went to a massage parlor for a good massage and it turned out that they provide massages done by girls to guys. Now during the massage, I was fully naked and a pretty decent looking girl was doing my massage. I got excited (as obvious) about it and after the massage took the massage package of 8 massages at the cost of 4. She did my massage only and was a bit shy in seeing me naked but seemed that she didn't mind a bit fooling around. I did not take it any forward though, but I was excited just flirting around.Now I feel really guilty about the whole incident, and I'm not sure whether what I did was wrong or not. I haven't told it to my wife and don't even intend to do it because it may hurt her. Please tell me if it was wrong to do such a thing. I'm confused because logically I did not do anything wrong by having the massage done, but still it feels like I cheated on my wife. I'm not sure whether I should go for the remaining 7 massages out of the package I've taken (already paid for). Please help me out here with my guilt, and my decision to tell my wife and to take the remaining massages.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): sexlessintheuk & cloverfield: Thanks for your response, it has helped me decide what to do. That place is definitely a genuine place because it is in the middle of the main market and a lot of decent people (girls & guys both) go there for haircuts, beauty treatments, massages, etc.
I will go there again and this time be aware and in control of my sex drive, and make sure I get only the massage that I paid for. You know what is ironical, it was my wife and mom who told me about that place, even though they haven't been there themselves. I just asked them for a good spa near our home, and they suggested that place.
gamine: Thanks for your response as well. It has helped me as well in a different manner than I expected. Especially the last two paras about who should drive my car. Regarding the first ones, I think you misunderstood me in my query. I did not and even can not do anything physical (which includes touching with a sexual intention) with any other girl. But it was my sex drive and the fact that I'm getting attracted that is causing me to feel guilty. I don't think that I've let any action of mine get driven by my sexuality, but I still feel guilty because I enjoyed the massage more because it was mildly erotic as well.
In fact I'm still confused whether I did it wrong or not. Whether I should be guilty because of my wrong feelings / thoughts (not actions). Anyways, I think I'm too confused right now and thinking only emotionally on this. I need to clear my head, and think logically as well.
Thanks for all the help everyone. Really appreciate it.
A
male
reader, Cloverfield  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 Hmmmm, as 'sexlessintheuk' said, that does rather sound like a knocking-shop rather than a genuine massage parlour. & fooling around does basically qualify as being unfaithful. Ask yourself, would your wife mind seeing what you got up to?
Now, with regards to your people-watching, & the thoughts you have.... that’s entirely normal, any man that says he doesn’t is, quite frankly, lying. I imagine that having had only one sexual partner would increase your curiosity, again, pretty normal if you ask me.
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