A
female
age
30-35,
*ardenGrove8273
writes: In a few weeks im supposed to interview one of my old middle school teachers about an event that is going on in spring. Just to let you know, I’ve liked this guy for like 6 years and we have a really good relationship as teacher and student. However, he’s married with 2 children which obviously sucks on my behalf. We flirt, I’m not going to lie. He always asked me about my boyfriends and in a crowd of students, he’ll look and smile at me. Also, his face lights up whenever I come over and hug him or just simply talk to him. Unfortunetly, I can’t tell if he’s interested in me, or if he’s just naïve about everything. This is why I need feedback. (Don’t just give me an answer saying that I need to back off. I have no intentions of putting the moves on him, I just want to have an idea of what his feelings are towards me). First of all, he knows I had a crush on him when I was in middle school and I admit that I’ve hit on him before and after this lunch idea was ever set up. The set up went like this: I asked him if he wanted to do the interview over lunch and he agreed. I asked him when he would like to do this and he said anytime, just let him know; he’s flexible. Then I asked him where we would go for lunch and he suggested this little fancy Italian restaurant which is where a lot of teachers meet up for lunch. He told me he eats anyting so it is my pick where to eat. I asked him if he trusted me driving and he said we could meet up at the restaurant if I had work or something so I could go straight from there. I said I had no problem picking him up so he agreed to leeting me drive. Lastly, I asked if he wanted me number and he said yes and said he’d hit me up. I asked if I could have his and he gave it to me so we agreed to text eachother for any updates. So what do you think? Do you think he’s just a nice guy who sees me as another adult figure, or could there be something? I’m just curious because it’s been bugging me lately and I can’t stop thinking about it until I have a better idea. I appreciate any answers, thanks.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 He may be interested, most men at that age are not naive. But you may be setting yourself up for a big heartache. Are you up for that? He has a wife and kids. He's probably enjoying the attention and he may allow it to go as far as you want it to although he may push you away if things go too far and that will cause you alot of pain and embarrassement. I think you are playing a dangerous game, of getting your hopes up. Teachers never leave their wives for a student. Most likely he'll just use you for the attention it gives his ego, and then go back to his wife, cutting off ties to you, and hurting you deeply. I really think you'd be better off to get the details over the phone and not call him for anything personal, no meetings, no lunch, no nothing. Otherwise you may end up feeling used and angry with yourself. You sound like a really sweet, interesting person. There must be some cool, intelligent, guys your age or a little older that you could hook up with instead. Just remember,you'll be married some day to a adorable, sexy guy and you wouldn't want some college girl wooing him behind your back while you're at home raising your child. Good luck sweetie.
A
female
reader, applebite8821 +, writes (26 January 2010):
 Hi,
Based on your story, i think your teacher likes you in some way but not the kind you hope for. His reactions may be because he is flattered that a student finds him attractive, therefore, he acts that way infront of you.
Well, if you go backwards, you were the one who asked to interview him. You offered him a ride and gave your number. He accepted just what you offer, there is no further act on his part. So far, we cannot conclude that he really does like you in a different level. He may like you just enough to say he likes you among his students. Though I am quite sure he is flattered by the attention he gets.
I suggest to get your mind off this first coz it's too early to conclude anything. However, please bear in mind that he is married. It is best to leave it at that. Don't worry, everyone goes through a phase like that. I used to like a teacher too and fantasize about him, but since he is married..it's all just fantasy. I got over it eventually.
Anyway, you are already an adult. You know what is right or wrong for yourself. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, MissFixIt +, writes (24 January 2010):
 Hi
After reading this it seems to me that it's a case of an older man flattered by a younger persons interest. Lets face it if a married man stuck in a rut with 2 kids (who already knows you like him) gets flirty with a younger girl hes bound to be lapping up the attention. My feeling is that if anything did happen between you it would be you who loses out. He wouldnt leave his family and you would end up someones dirty little secret, either that or if you put the moves on he would run a mile. My advice would be to carry on seeing him socially as you have been. If he does like you and you back off a bit he may just come to you. If not you know where you stand, however if something does happen make sure you look out for yourself! make it clear you are nobodys dirty little secret so he can either be honest or go back to his family. If nothing happens and you both stop the flirting, no harm done! hope that helps, just message me if you want any more advice!
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (24 January 2010):
 It sounds like he is interested in you but I find it hard to tell if it is anything romantic. I could honestly see you two being friends when your done school, when the student/teacher thing no longer exists. Friends do flirt even though it may never lead to anything more, although i do find it difficult to flirt with anyone that I am not attracted to.
He knows that there something between the two of you and as I think about it I lean towards the he does see something romantic since if a teacher makes any flirty comment that the student reports there could be alot of trouble for him. He has trust in you to keep it mutual.
As for getting romantically involved, I don't recommend it just because of the baggage that he will have and what a mess that it could be. There is nothing saying that you two can't be friends, who even flirt with each other. Keep the relationship with him just try not to chase him around if its clear there is nothing there.
I hope that what ever happens is to your liking.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Yes he likes you, but ONLY as a student. I have no doubt he's very flattered by the fact you like him, it will boost his ego no end and he probably even thinks you're "cute" but that's as far as it goes! He is married with 2 kids and I don't think any level headed adult/teacher would risk his marrage OR his career. That being said he should NOT have taken your phone number or given you his, that's only asking for trouble and also encouraging you. Although this may be completely innocent on his part, we know (as women) that when you're infatuated with a guy, anything they do that can be a positive sign, no matter how small will be analysed and thought about tenfold by us.
I would call him (or go to see him at school) and tell him you'll meet him at the place you're having lunch then bin his phone number and tell him just to bin yours. I can see from your age that you're also an adult so do the right thing and be totally professional about this interview and bring yourself down to earth again where he's concerned. There are literally thousands of unattached guys out there. Don't open up a can of worms for yourself (and him and his family.)
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 January 2010):
 I hate to burst your bubble but...he doesn't see you as an "adult figure", he has no romantic ideas concerning you, he has graciously agreed to an interview for the event's sake or to do you (one of his favorite students,and he most likely has many)a favor, in other words,he sees you as a STUDENT...period.
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