A
female
age
30-35,
*uckycloud
writes:1. He's my friend's cousin. About 6 months ago, we first met when he picked me up to go meet my friend for some coffee. Along the ride, we got along quite well, like, the conversations were smooth and from both sides [although my friend told me that he's silent type]2. After that, he usually came pick me up when we go see that friend [since his place was nearby mine] - we both didnt like meeting up with many friends at the same time [which that friend does] - and we chatted quite a lot whenever there were only two of us on the road. 3. He moved back to his hometown in the beginning of Feb. My friend and I took him to the airport. I felt something, and my friend felt my feelings for him, too! OMG!!4. On Feb 14th, I sent him a text message saying I like him cuz I feel comfortable being with him. actually this feeling was special to me cuz Im not the type of easily-open-up girl. And he's like the first one who can make me feel this way. He replied me just a smile icon ":)"5. After that, we're long-distance. Fortnightly, he first sent me text messages asking how I was, and we told each other about study, work and other stuff. kinda fun. Then we moved to facebook messages. He normally started the conversations asking how I was doing then we shared to each other many stuff like music, movies, study, work, relationships around us, family. I felt connected, since none of the boys I met before, even just friends has ever shared that much things about themselves to me. 6. Recently, our conversations happened more frequently. we normally chatted at late nights till the morning. The weirdest was a week ago when I was insomnia thinking about him and life's mess. At 3am, he asked why i was still awake. then I told him all my mess. he just patiently let me pour out my worries. then i asked him if he can share me some music. he actually has that surprising power to calm me down and distract me from all the unhappy stuff I feel in my soul. we chatted till 5am. I didnt have things to do that morning so I can sleep over. But he does have classes everyday. Actually every night we stayed up late, he always has classes in early mornings. It less usually happened to me. 7. Although at the moment he is crazily busy with his scheduled study/classes and graduate thesis, he still said he's fine when I told him about my worries. I mean everyone has their own life with troubles, right? he didnt mention his to me, just listen to me when I pour out mine. Which is why Im touched. 8. However, it doesnt seem that he cares much about me since he didnt ask much when I said Im moving places [like he's supposed to ask at least "where to ..", right?] or when I said I had further plan on my study [going abroad, but he didnt ask for details]-So, ok. Above is kinda most significant things happened between us.I look forward to hearing all your advices if I should keep hoping/waiting or just giving up? I myself want to keep holding on but one-sided is tired some times. Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (7 June 2013):
After reading the whole things, i actually did not see much hints that he gave you for you to assume he likes you.
I agree with the other response. Most probably he wish to be friend with you. As you said he is the silent type and its hard for him to make friends and he find you that's a great thing for him.
I don't think he ''loves'' you. Else he would care to ask where you are moving and why. Also, You had already taken the first step by saying you like him in your text message. So, if he likes u too he would easily say it but he replied with :) . Maybe he did not want to reject you because that would hurt you. so he sent an indirect no actually.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): I advise a lot of women and girls on the website about falling for a guy and asking everyone, but him, if he is interested. He likes you; but he is more involved with his studies right now. He is being polite. He is legitimately fond of you; but he is content with the text messages and Facebook updates.Women never seem to get it! Guys don't always want a girlfriend; because we like to chat and text you. There may be other responsibilities and priorities ahead of you; so there may be times we get busy and we need to focus strictly on our jobs and/or studies.Having a girlfriend requires your full attention. She requires your time and may be a little selfish, and you have to be polite and pretend it's okay. If you don't, her feelings will get hurt, or she'll get angry and pout. The constant distractions do bother him; but he is being too kind to admit it. Writing a thesis requires a lot of reading and research. It is a time-consuming process and your mentoring professor, or the head of your graduate-studies program, does frequent inquiries on your progress. Keeping him up all night can affect his focus and concentration due to sleep deprivation. Spending time away from his work forces him to rush to make up time; which could affect the quality and integrity of his thesis. He also has to meet a deadline for its completion.Your only concern is if he might want to be your boyfriend. So you can soak up more of his time, and dump all your problems in his lap. Try not to look too clingy and desperate. It's not always a good idea to pour out all your emotions and problems on a guy you like. Whiny women with a load of troubles can be a downer; and they can be quite depressing. The more you listen, the more problems she dumps on you for the sympathy and attention. If he is considering dating you in the future, allow him the time and space. Keep conversations light and uplifting.You'll make a better impression.It's obvious he likes you, but he's also your friend's cousin; and doesn't want to upset her by offending her best friend. He's a nice guy and you're taking advantage of his kindness to some degree. You're also banking on the fact he is your friend's cousin; which means he has little choice but to be nice. Not intentionally, but you're not being considerate of histime and the fact he is under a lot of pressure.For now, he is being friends; because he hasn't suggested otherwise. Do you think you would have to ask the agony aunts, if he was interested in starting something romantic with you? I think he would make that apparent to you personally. Be patient and considerate, and give him a chance to tell you in his own time. It wouldn't be fair for us to build up your hopes; if he doesn't want more than to be friends.If he only wants to be friends, from what you say about him, treasure his friendship for as long as you can.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Hello LuckyCloud, I'm afraid that this guy just wants to be friends with you. All the communication that you guys have are platonic. He feels comfortable around you, likes to talk to you and as like you...he probably never had this type of relationship with a girl before. But it doesn't mean that he wants to have a relationship with you. My theory on friendships that begin like this...boy and girl ones..is let the guy lead the pace. Don't push, don't share too much of your feelings...it sounds a bit bad...but if this friendship means anything to you...it's what you have to do....rather than share how you feel and lose the friendship all together. Don't ask him how he feel either. Just let the friendship goes where it wants to go. Sit back and relax...live and enjoy your life. Because to be honest....he's enjoying his own where he is.Wishing you well.
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