A
female
age
26-29,
*lgardner1
writes:This man I have had a crush on for the past six months seems to have been playing hot and cold with me. (Or maybe I am just reading too much into it). He's been flirty one day and then distant the next. He recently hugged and kissed me on the cheek, which made me think that he liked me. But he's never made a move which makes me really think he's not interested. The problem is I have these unexplainable strong feelings for him and I can't get over him no matter how hard I try. I guess my question would be , is he even interested in me? And how will I get over him if he's not?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 Maybe what you should do is ask him out on a date, you will soon know by his answer and then you can stop analyzing everything that he does and stop living in hope or sorrow.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 March 2017):
 I have said this on DC a few dozen times alreday, but once more will not hurt :
mixed signals = no signals.
When there's real, actual interest, the signals are strong, clear and consistent. When the signals come and go- the intention behind them is weak, and the guy is either lukewarm, or indifferent , or even just toying with you for his selfish entertainment .
Mind you, I am not saying that he must dislike you. Probably he finds you somewhat attractive , if he tries hugging you and kissing you. ( And this , too, depends from the cultural context. If you were in Italy or France, everybody would be kissing you all the time as long as you are acquainted - even without finding you attractive ) But it does not mean that he is thinking of you when you are out of sight. So do not go cherrypicking the few positive signals , convenientrly forgetting that there are as many negative signals.
How will you get over it ? You will, mark my words, you will. You must cooperate, though :) rather than wallowing in the " misery " of not being the chosen one.
Remind yourself, even dozens of times a day if needs be, that you deserve someone who likes you so much that his " signals " are unequivocable. You are not a charity case, and you do not need to beg attention or validation from this specific guy. If he is not into you- too bad for him. His loss not yours; he does not know what he is missing ! ( wink ).
And, keep busy. See your friends, study , take up a new hobby, get a job, or get a second job if you have one already- anything, please, BUT staying home brooding because
your feelings aren't requited. Feelings, btw ? What feelings !? I do not get the impression that you already know this guy well and spent a lot of time with him and are in position to say " What a shame, we would be SO compatible if he only gave me a chance ". I think this is a crush. And like any crush, it will go away on its own, in due time and with due patience, if you starve it rather than feed it.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (24 March 2017):
 If you have to ask then he's not interested.
If a guy likes you then he will do everything he can to show you what he feels for you. The will be no games, no "I've been busy", no "I'm scared that I'm getting too close to you" business. No matter what your girlfriends say, the is no such thing as "he's intimidated by you" or that "he's scared of how successful you are."
As regards you getting over him, don't worry, it'll happen. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you anyway? Just don't let him take advantage of the fact that you have feelings for him and don't let him hug and kiss you. It might be a cultural thing and a completely accepted way of greeting but right now, it's best avoided under the given circumstances.
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