A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He is always talking to me at least more than 20 comments a day. He's a couple years older than me though. I know this isn't safe, but I met him online. Well anyways, each time we have a conversation, he'll be talking about how he wants to see me in real life, what we're going to do once we meet each other, what he wants to do with me in bed, how he will take me out if we see each other in person. He always wants to make me feel happy and feeling easy each time he sends me a comment. He sometimes compliments me, but always talking to me. He gave me his phone number and expects me to call him. He sends me new comments if i don't reply back to his old one. So, does he really like me or is he like some kind of pedophile? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 If you are under 18, and he is that much older then run, but assuming you are actually 18 or older, he is not a pedophile. Still, depending on how many "a few years" actually is, it may be a wonderful fantasy to him to be with one as young as you. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Some men like younger women. I like older men. As long as we are all adults and on an equal playing field, there isn't anything wrong with that.
He is absolutely after sex. What, if anything else he wants, only he really knows. You are not 100% comfortable here, or you wouldn't be asking for input. That makes me wonder what your gut instinct is telling you.
If you meet him, I suggest you put a few safety measures in place beforehand. These tips have never let me down.
1) Meet in a public place. You will tell him that you would like to meet him face to face without having sex the first time you meet. This will (you tell him) give you a chance to get to know each other and make sure the chemistry is there and mutual before agreeing to meet again (or have sex, if you prefer to put it that way). You are entitled to several such meets before you engage sexually. If you hold yourself in high enough regard to take things at a comfortable pace, others will as well.
If he is not agreeable to this arrangement, then your "Creep-Alarm" should be ringing off loudly. Break contact with Mr. Pervert and move on... unless you are ok with "just sex". Then buy condoms and move to #2.
2) Set up a safe call. This is a person (friend or sibling) you can trust who knows where you are going and will call at times previously agreed to with you. If you don't answer, they know something is wrong. Also, call them when you get home and the doors are locked behind you.
Feel free to let the online friend know about the safe call; who is calling and why. It is common practice when meeting a stranger from online. He may have heard of it before. If he is not a creep, he will be amused and understanding.
3) Meet up on a week night. You're in a public place, having coffee, no alcohol. Now, because you have selected a week night to meet, you can "leave early" because you have school, work or an appointment the next day. Say this whether it is true or not.
This is important for the following reasons:
a) You have let him know beforehand that you have to leave early, so if you get the "Creep-Alarm" going off in your head, you don't have to endure too many questions about ending the meet early.
b) Your safe call knows when the date should be over. Your safe call will not be up all night wondering if you're ok and should they call again and when you may get home.
c) If you two hit it off, you will let him miss you. It will make him want to see you again and soon. You NEVER give a new person everything you have all at once. Prolong the romance and the "chase". That tactic will always bear fruit.
4) Take an extra turn or two on the way home (if you drive only). Make sure no one is following you.
Good luck, enjoy and always trust your instincts.
A
male
reader, LessonsLearned +, writes (1 October 2009):
I know your flattered that he's making such a fuss, but this has all the signs of obsession versus real affection. If your really 18 or so it's up to you to make your own decisions, if your actually younger, you have to be very careful as this man may be targeting you because your young. Just because a man gives you attention, it doesn't mean he likes you. He may just want to use you. Be careful, I would suggest you not pursue this, find someone in real life you feel like you can trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): i wouldn't say he's a pedophile but you do need to be careful when it comes to meeting people online. I have met some really good people online but there are just as many sleezy guys that are just looking for sex and to take advantage of girls so be careful and don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. My advice would be to take your time getting to know each other before you meet up anywhere, try and figure out as much about him as you can. If he's just a pervert or a pedophile hopefully making him wait will wear him out and he'll disappear on his own. Also don't give him any real person information that he can use to track you down with like your home address or your last name and if you do meet him make it during the day at a public place and make sure you either take someone else with you or tell a friend or family member where you're going to be in case anything goes wrong. Not everyone online is bad, just be smart and watch out for yourself.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 October 2009):
If you're at least 18 like it says you are...then no he's probably not a pedophile...
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Ok, how much older is he? Need an actual number. Obviously, whatever age he is, he seems to be after sex for sure. Whether he wants more than sex from you, hard to say. But sex, yes definitely.
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