A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused_gemini
writes:I am recently desperate in seeking straight and honest advice and I feel this is the right place for me. Kindly bear with me as I’m new with this stuff. I'm in a relationship for 7 months now, we started as collegues then we became friends and then lovers. My boyfriend has 2 daughters from his former girlfriend. This is my first serious relationship and at first it scares me thinking how complicated the situation will be, but my love for him makes me brave enough not to worry about the future complications. I haven't met his children nor his family as we are working in another continent however he honestly told me that it will take time for him to tell his daughters about me as well as his mother because they will freak out once they will find out. It was easy for me as anyway we are very far from them. So our relationship goes well, I was raised with a conservative mentality and I firmly believe that making love should be done by married couples only and I have to keep my virginity until the right time comes. He respected my principles and beliefs which makes me love and trust him more, we managed to sleep together for quite some time without having sex at all until we were faced in a very difficult situation. Our company laid off some staff and he happens to be one of those. It was his biggest fear as he has children to support and he doesn’t have savings to cover up their expenses while looking for a new job. Being emotionally down, I was there to comfort him and assure that everything’s gonna be fine and finally given up to his request to make love with him as I want him to be happy and feel how much I love him. We did it twice before he went back home, we made arrangements on our communication schedule and I volunteered that I will call him to lessen his financial burden. He went home august, it breaks my heart to be away from him but it was the first step for him to start all over again so I have to understand. On the first month he always make sure to send me messages regularly and me in return make sure to call him. It was smooth flow of communication, I even sent him money on September 12 because I know he badly needs it though he insisted not. From September 13 upto this date he did not send any message and I tried to call him everyday but to no avail, I sent messages but not a single reply either. I don’t know what to think, I have so many questions that needs answers from him. I feel I’m lost, helpless as days passed by. I don’t know what to do, is he hiding from me or maybe he found someone new or maybe he is reunited with the mother of his children. I can’t sleep at night thinking where did I go wrong? One thing that bothers me as well, I’m scared that I might be pregnant because there’s too many signs I’m experiencing lately I just hope that I’m just getting paranoid with how things going on. I am clueless, it would be much easier if we had any argument or misunderstanding than nothing at all. Please help me, enlighten my confused mind. I really want to move on and just forget him, but I don’t know how and where to start if we didn’t even have closure. I want to eliminate all the "what if" on my mind, I want to scream, I want to cry but I cannot. All I want now is your understanding and honest and fair advice. Do I have to wait for him forever? Sorry I occupied a huge space here. Thank you in advance, looking forward to your help.
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female
reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (1 November 2009):
Any updates? Are you okay?
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (29 October 2009):
I am so sorry to hear this.
So you haven't had any contact with him in more than a month? Do you have any way of verifying that he's not in the hospital, jail, or hurt? (I'm not trying to scare you - just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt)
If none of the above are true, then, I'm sorry to say , but it seems like he dumped you in the most cowardly way possible.
Can you send him an email or leave one more message, and just say : "If you don't want to be with me anymore, please just have the courtesy of saying so. I can't take this state of limbo"
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