A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont really know how to put this , but ill start from the beginning. there is a guy thats about 48 and he is gay - the thing is , my friend and her ex partner met him a year ago, on their first date, this gay guy is really in to his drugs at the moment, and he offered her ex partner some ghb or something of the sort- her ex tried it , though it was only a small dose. when the guy found out they actually werent a couple, the doses got a bit bigger. she kept a straight head and saw that her ex didnt quite know where he was- that he seemed really vulnerable. her and my ex both agreed that once this guy knew they werent a couple that the dose got stronger. her and her ex got together in a relationship after this night, and he would often go to this guys house and get ' wasted' . she knew the guy liked him but her ex insisted nothing would happen. as i said it was a year ago. but she had noticed things over time that didnt seem right,like the gay guy and a friend randomly being in a locked room, and leaving the bathroom with another guy looking flushed. her and her ex would joke that there was something going on between them. after her and her ex split up, she found out that all they joked about was true, this gay guy was giving people drugs that made them 'horny' and was doing things with them -though with their consent. she then found out that he and her ex had done something as well(after they had split up). a guy she am currently dating is bi-sexual, but he has also done something with this gay guy, she don't hold this against him, but she sees it as this guy has been grooming them all? the ages of the guys go from between 20 and 35, i know all have consented what has gone on as there has been more than one occasion, but is this right ? or is it just that 'mood enhancing drugs' are involved that we think it wrong? i dont quite know what i am asking - but i really don't understand it all and think it a wee bit strange?! or is it just me and my friend being a bit closed minded? there isnt really anyone either of us can talk to about this that isnt some way involved in it all?! it would be nice to see an outside point of view! thanks in advance! and well done if you make any sense of this lol!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi sorry i have not been able to update you-ive not had any internet since my last post.
it was my friends ex boyfriend i was writing about but some of it was copied and pasted from an email she sent to me .
we have found out since i asked about this , that there has been several occasions between this man and the others, the drug does cause ,how do i put it , erm , horniness, as one of the guys, when he takes it and if he has too much, he goes in to his own little world for a bit and then when the music (in his head) stops , he instantly reaches down his pants and starts to -well you can guess, and his girlfriend has done the same thing when they all went camping, and she had too much and she was writhing round in a tent sounding as though she was having an orgasm.... the guy that supplies it knows what it does to people... but we have also found out since that it was my friends ex boyfriend that came on to this gay guy, not the other way as we were all lead to believe at the beginning...
the drug that they have been taking is 100% legal as it is a research chemical, its called gbl, a legal version of ghb.... some one has apparently gone to the police about something to do with this guy ,but i dont know how true that is or if it is about what ive written about - id like to go to the police so i know what has been told to them , but i have a couple of friends that go to this guys house,and i dont want them getting in to any trouble for anything they might be doing at the time ...im really a bit stuck with this .... i dont want this guy to carry on but i dont want my friends to be in a sticky situation if anything does happen with the police?!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi sorry i have not been able to update you-ive not had any internet since my last post.
it was my friends ex boyfriend i was writing about but some of it was copied and pasted from an email she sent to me .
we have found out since i asked about this , that there has been several occasions between this man and the others, the drug does cause ,how do i put it , erm , horniness, as one of the guys, when he takes it and if he has too much, he goes in to his own little world for a bit and then when the music (in his head) stops , he instantly reaches down his pants and starts to -well you can guess, and his girlfriend has done the same thing when they all went camping, and she had too much and she was writhing round in a tent sounding as though she was having an orgasm.... the guy that supplies it knows what it does to people... but we have also found out since that it was my friends ex boyfriend that came on to this gay guy, not the other way as we were all lead to believe at the beginning...
the drug that they have been taking is 100% legal as it is a research chemical, its called gbl, a legal version of ghb.... some one has apparently gone to the police about something to do with this guy ,but i dont know how true that is or if it is about what ive written about - id like to go to the police so i know what has been told to them , but i have a couple of friends that go to this guys house,and i dont want them getting in to any trouble for anything they might be doing at the time ...im really a bit stuck with this .... i dont want this guy to carry on but i dont want my friends to be in a sticky situation if anything does happen with the police?!
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A
male
reader, philipgifts  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 I think that the drug may stimulate the sexual parts in the brain, there are 8 sexual sensations in the brain. Or maybe there just high and bi or gay guys, that want a high and to sleep with the guy.
In any case report him, and let the police deal with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Hi,
First of all sorry to say but I had a bit of a trouble understanding your story, some of it sounded like you are describing your friends ex and then your own ex, and the paragraphs on this site don't make it easier either... I can understand that writing can be difficult when it is an emotional issue, so I make my best to respond.
I don't think this is an issue for the police because they don't really do crime prevention, especially when the situation you described is more like destructive behavior.
I am not sure if you belong to the LGBTQ community, but because the is guy is gay and the vulnerable men in question are at least bi then I would suggest looking for contacts in that direction would be the best, because they are familiar with such topics and there is a lot of help around there for dealing with this (at least that's what we are lead to believe).
Basically I am thinking that you should talk to a councillor or therapist who has experience of dealing with drugs issues and drug related group dynamics, because from what you are saying it sounds like people close to you have not much idea what they are doing and you yourself are clinging to your little boat of sanity- it can be isolating and you might start wondering who is right.
You need someone to help you to know how to act around this guy and how to help your friend, and to what extend you can get involved and achieve something.
Now I don't know where exactly in the UK are you based but could start searching for your local gay and lesbian switch board this is the London one http://www.llgs.org.uk/
they might have some useful links, or they might direct you towards more help.
There is a charity in London called Pace http://www.pacehealth.org.uk/
which deals with mental health, sexual exploitation and drug related issues of the LGBTQ community in the London area. They might be able to direct you to a similar service in another area in the UK.
There is the government anti drug site called talk to frank- it provides confidential support (also on the phone) and they might be able to direct you to a coucillor.
http://www.talktofrank.com/
I am not sure how good their are really, but it is worth having a look through this, they are a bit grim though.
Have a search on the web for LGBT support, directory, switchboard etc., drug related counseling, and addictive/ codependent exploitative relationship counseling in your local area.
Eventually you will find the right person to talk to: there are services out there that are free and aimed at people who experience problems like that.
If you are female you might want to have a look at www.gingerbeer.co.uk which is a London based message board for LGBTQ women, there might be people who will give you their opinion on what to do.
Good Luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm not defending him when i say this but , the drugs he gives out are actually legal ones, so he can't get in to trouble for 'supplying' (though legal ones are just as bad as illegal) and they are being taken at the persons own choice. i just don't know what to do , if we went to the police, all we could say really is , there is a man that likes men, that has parties with legal drugs, and has a bit of fun with his friends behind closed doors.... that is all they would see it as.... i do agree that some one could die from their first 'hit' but again not defending, he is also aware of how much he is giving some one and will not let them do more than what is dubbed as safe.
it's a really confusing situation. my friend is slowly starting to ignore what is going on and see it as acceptable behaviour and even said , ""so he's gay and the guys he spends his time with loose their inhibitions when they take the drugs, and they know when they take it , with him alone that something may happen, so it is up to them if they do or not"" has she just been drawn in to a really relaxed attitude about it all, or has she been 'groomed' herself by him? this is way to much to make sense of !
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