A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for about 3 months and I'm ready to have sex with him. I'm a virgin and he's not. He loves me so much and i love him back, but I'm not comfortable with my body AT ALL. I find it ugly, but he says that I'm beautiful every day. I'm not a big girl at all (I weigh 120 pounds) I just hate my body. I don't have a small butt, though, so my butt and thighs aren't thin at all. I even have stretch marks on my thighs. My figure measures 36-25-38. Is that bad? I'm not nervous about the sex itself, I'm nervous about what he'll think of my body. I'm scared to get naked in front of him. Can someone help me? Guys in particular?
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female
reader, bexdafattybumbum  +, writes (26 October 2008):
First of all, losing your virginity is a big step thattakes a lot of time and consideration. I can't remeber the age limit in your country, but in mine it's sixteen and the average age a girls loses her virginity is 18. Judging by your profile, you do seem rather young to be at thhis point, but only you can really decide whether you are ready as you're the only person who really knows your own mind. Also, make sure you're on the pill and use condoms, or the equivalent to make sure you're fully covered. If you and your boyfriend haven't discussed or arranged this yet, it's definitely too soon. As for your body image, from the sounds of it you're perfectly fine, the only problem is your perception of it. Unofrtuneately in this world, most women's self esteem is far too low. I'm maybe similar to you, with a bbug bum and thighs, and roughly the equivalent of your size tne in America. In a world of size zeros and impossibly toned celebrities, I think I'm too big, too fat and too ugly. He however, is the one person who gives me confidence, and finds my figure rather attractive. In fact, most men like REAL women with REAL curves, and do not conform to the supermodel type. Lots of people have stretch marks on their thighs, I do, but the point is you're only focusing on the 'bad' parts of your body, and forgetting to love all the good parts of your body. And you should embrace the parts that you don't like because imperfections are what make us human, and the fact that we human make the beutiful parts more amazing because they are real. Even my bf worries and says he has cellulite, but all I can focus on is his lovely chest and bum! And his face..and loads of other stuff! I'm sure your boyfriend thinks just the same. Other people I see haveposted answers saying that he is only saying this to get you into bed. Again, only you can truly know from what you see of him, but in the unlikely event he is taking advatnage of you, you need to make sure you are a willing participant and can handle the repercussions. If not, I'm sure he'll be understanding of your (unjustified) low self esteem. If not, then he is definitely not the right guy to be having sex with, let alone losing your virginity to. Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): You shouldn't feel that your body is ugly. From what you wrote your body is in perfect health and your in good shape. There's no such thing as the perfect body, but if it makes you feel any better you're measurements are very close to a perfect hourglass figure. Oh, and having thighs and a but is sooo much more attractive than having stick legs and a pancake but. Your boyfriend won't be disgusted, as Emily said he will just be thinking how much he wants you. Plus, did you ever think that he may have some insecurities with his body too? Trust me when I say he's probably unsure if there's something that you won't like about his body. Is my stomach to untoned? Is my dick small? Omg is it crooked?! As for your age, well you and me are about the same age and I get how you're feeling. I understand that you love him and want to be with him, but maybe three months is a little to short of a time to get intimate. Maybe you should wait it out until you're totally sure. If you are, again you're not the only one with concerns so have confidence in yourself and your body image and he will think your to most gorgeous girl on the planet(and outer space). -Hope this helps you out
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A
female
reader, tayalouise +, writes (26 October 2008):
 You should only have sex if you feel ready with the whole concept, and by the sound of it you are not ready if you are worried about what this guy will think of your body.You should feel reassured and not worrying at all, please wait.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): hi.
right im gonna give it to you straightt.
3 months is not long enough to go out with someone for and lose your virginity to.
people seem to think that there is a small amount of space between kissing and having sex when really its so much more than that. there's so much more you can do between these two things.
take your time.
katee
x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 October 2008):
I agree with the other poster. You are far too young to have sex and 3 months is not long enough to to go out with someone before you lose your virginity to them.
You have to built up trust and love before you give it away to someone and that means TRUSTing him to see you naked.
By all means perhaps let him see you and kiss you with no top on and get used to letting him see a bit at a time, but do not do anything that you are not comfortable with till you have built up to it and done tonnes of other stuff.
To answer your question when he sees you naked he's going to think "OMG NAKED GIRL!! WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT." He is not going to analyse your skin tone and shape, he's going to be too busy thanking his lucky stars that he is going to get to touch your boobs.
Take it very very slowly. Take months.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Don't have sex with this guy...he'd say anything to get in your pants at such a young age...I don't mean to be harsh but three months isn't enough to fall in love especially at your age....look if you have sex with this guy he will only continue to use you up if you let him..and then he will leave you...heartbroken...don't lose your virginity you are not at all ready...do you know how to protect your self(condoms) you can catch an STD or you may wind up pregnant...so im not helping you with this one...my advice is to not do it at all....I hope you take heed to my advice.
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