A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So right now, my mind's been thinking about a situation that happened not too long ago. Well as it turns out I am gay, and very few people know about it. About a year ago, maybe a little more. I had a really big falling with a former friend, but before that I was almost convinced I loved him. Now the falling was never over me being gay as he didn't know, although a different friend (who knows that I am gay) told me that from an outside point of view it was evident that I was into him. He also used to tell me he thought this former friend of mine was into me, but I could never gauge his tone. Maybe he was joking with me... At any rate, there were these small signs that indicated to me he was both gay and liked me. As cheesy as it sounds we'd make time to talk on an instant messenger every single day, then we would watch shows/movies together. When he didn't log on he would text me the next day and apologized for not doing so and told me he was going on later on if I wanted to meet him. Then I remember during the time of his finals, I tried to comfort him and he told me that my message helped him feel better about all the stress he had. And because I know a lot about him I know to this very date, he has neither had an open relationship with a girl or boy. He's very shy about love...I tried the trick of telling him some girls were pretty to gauge his reply, and I always got an ambivalent reply.Unfortunately, our falling happened over a very big misunderstanding and it's been quite some time since that happened, since then he joined facebook recently (as in last Saturday)...so, I know I come off desperate but when I saw him through mutual friends of ours--it made me realize I missed him a lot. So, based on the short details provided is he gay? Would a relationship with him be feasible? Should I even pursue trying to rekindle whatever form of friendship/relationship we had?The thing is we'd do so many things together, on several occasions we would go out to dinner together, have our own inside jokes, etc. And well...sometimes I felt like he was the one. I appreciate any form of input, thank you and have a great day!
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male
reader, groovymoving +, writes (3 September 2010):
It is hard to tell whether he is gay or not, for you can never be completely sure, unless you have a great relationship with the person in question and they tell you.
But I would suggest telling him about your true feelings, though. If your friendship is currently borked, he can't possibly get any madder at you, right? And if it turns out he likes you back, then, well, you're a lucky person!
A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (1 September 2010):
It's hard to say if he's gay or not. Given the information, it sort of sounds like relationship sort of stuff. But I don't know the kid so I have no idea.
I do think you should try to befriend him again, regardless of whether or not it leads to a relationship. If his friendship was so important to you, go after it again. Fix this misunderstanding.
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