A
female
age
36-40,
*irl4675
writes:i've been with my bf for a few months but i'm starting to wonder if he might be gay. He told me that he nearly once kissed a guy, also he says he has an arse obsession. He seems to enjoy sex but the only thing that makes him hard is if he touches himself (i won't touch it soft)! i don't understand why me getting my kit off or kissing him or him touching me doesn't get him hard, he says it's because he's not 'easy' but i've never had that problem with any other guy, it just doesn't seem normal and it doesn't make me feel very good about myself either.is he gay?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): There is a definite possibility that he's gay. There are a good number of guys who will get into relationships with girls because they feel that this is what they SHOULD be doing, regardless of what their own feelings are on the matter. They may only be attracted to other guys, but the stigma and onslaught that they'd face for coming out of the closet scares them into hiding rather than confronting. If he's gay and is struggling with his sexuality, then that is something he needs to deal with on his own. Whether or not you want to be a part of that is up to you.
There is also a chance that he is just really sexually inexperienced. Some guys get so used to only responding to their own touch that it takes a LOT for them to get turned out by the touch and presence of a woman. This is because the whole of the sexual experiences are based on them pleasuring themselves and not on receiving pleasure from another. If this is the case, then you guys will have to work out a way where you can turn him on enough that he will be able to have sex with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): That doesn't even make sense, him saying that he doesn't get hard when kissing or touching you becuase he is not easy. What does that have to do with it? If he's not easy then why is he trying to have sex in the 1st place? Is he into ass sex or just into asses? I mean, does he like women with large asses? I think he may just not be normal maybe he is gay or maybe not but either way he seems odd. Perhaps he just has intimacy issues or issues from his past. I think in time you will figure out what is going on. But in the mean time, why don't you try asking him wha is the problem?
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb  +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Maybe he is nervous. I'm always like that the first few times I have sex with someone new.
As I get more comfortable with my partner, just looking at her from across the room will get me hard as a rock.
Go easy on him. The more he tries to get an erection, the less likely he'll get one.
Why won't you touch it soft? That might be the easiest way for him to get it up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): I doubt he is gay, most likely he is just not in to you (emotionally, not physically). If it does not feel right then it is probably not...
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