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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been married for four years and have made friends with my husband friends which are also married. Now over the past few years every time we meet up or go to dinner the guy in question finds a way to sit next to me, this in it self is not a problem. i know he makes a big effort to include me in the circle, but the last time we meet he tried to kiss me, i would not normally think any thing of it but as he held me he said i bet you are very naughty, then he went to kiss me, i moved out of the way, and left. I have children so we all met two weeks ago and we were alone in the hall way and he said wow you look amazing and came closer i smiled and left fast i had this feeling he would try again. what do i do am i miss reading things is he just being friendly.
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (26 December 2006):
 This guy is being more than friendly, he is playing with fire. Knowing that you are not available is more atractive to him.
Pushing him away is the right thing to do.
He has no respect for you or your husband. Unless he is secretly in love with you and you want his advances, stay away. Talk to this guy and find out what is he up to. If he tell you that he is just having a laugh, tell him you are happily married and that you do not want this behaviour to carry on.
Good luck. xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): If this relationship is a long-term friendship between your husband and this man, then it is really his place to deal with him. If it were me, I would be more assertive in expressing my feelings about this guy to my husband.
I would tell him that I feel very unomfortable around this guy because he is giving you unmistakable sexual innuendos and you do not appreciate this kind of attention. Ask your husband what he thinks you should do about it or what he wants you to do about this guy saying things to you like "I bet you are naughty" while kissing you on the lips. Tell him that you do not want to be left alone with this guy and if he does leave you alone with him and he tries to plant one on you or make suggestive comments or grope you that you are going to make a scene as in yelling at him to stop it now, or I don't appreciate this, or by going the complete opposite and acting like you love it and grabbing the guy in the ass for a gropey hug....I guess you could play along with it and make your husband look like a fool if he is going to tell you that you are making too much out of it....see if he enjoys watching you and the letch......just an extreme example of what to do if all other more mature methods fall on deaf ears.
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A
female
reader, gift4leo +, writes (23 December 2006):
After i told my husband, and he just pushed my feelings aside, by telling me i am reading too much into it, it made me feel, that if this guy does get his way, and kisses me, i would not tell my husband, I would just deal with it my self.
Is that the right thing to do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2006): Thank-you very much for your quick reply. I did tell my husband when it happened, and he said i was reading to much into things, so this is why i have been very confused. I do not want the friendship between them to end they have been friends for over 25years its just i found the situation a bit to much to handle, as i am the new girl in this.
Do i just forget it, or will he keep on, we have a new years party soon.
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A
male
reader, soulmasseur +, writes (23 December 2006):
I agree with the other commentators. You have to let your man know about it because I think this is his right to be filled in on what is going on around especially considering the fact that you still show a high degree of sensetivity to this "guy's misreadings". I suggest to reconsider your any relationship with this couple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2006): I think you know the answer to your own question...I man in your social circle who is married himself and friends with your husband, is not trying to be just friends when he trys to plant one on you and says to you, "I bet you are naughty"....sounds like a perv to me, are you sure he and his wife aren't swingers? It might surprise you, they tend to be on the down low.
I think I would definately let your husband know, and if he can't get it straightened out with the guy, then maybe you all need to make some new friends.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 December 2006):
 Your husband deserves to know. You don't sound threatened so make light of it. In a jovial manner, tell your husband that " you think #$#$ has the hots for you" Make a bit of a joke of it with your husband and make a deal that you'll both keep an eye on Mr. Friendly the next time you're all out. As long as your husband knows what's going on, he proabably won't feel too bothered. If the guy gets too far out of line, you'll have to deal with it. At least this way you man knows you're honest with him. If he found out later, he might feel you liked the attention.
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