A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I've been with my bf for about 11 months now. He's 23, im 21 and this is our first christmas together. However, this holiday is turning out to be complicated and frustrating already. My bf really wants to see me on christmas eve or christmas day. He originally asked me to come to his uncles on christmas eve if his uncle was having a party, and i said maybe because i wasn't really sure if i'd be allowed to go. Anyway, those plans fell through and his uncle isn't doing anything on christmas eve. However, i on christmas eve my family and i usually do baking and go to church at night (nothing exciting really). And on Chistmas day we have a few cousins coming over to spend the day with us. I asked my bf if he wanted to come over on christmas eve and help bake, go to church since his family really isn't doing much anyway. He said he'd get back to me on that bc he wasn't sure. Last night he called and asked if we could get together on Christmas day at night around 7 or 8 to exchange presents and maybe watch a christmas movie and just be together a little bit. But I told him that i have my cousins coming over and i can't just leave them because that would be rude and my parents would not have it. So i invited him over my house instead for dessert and then he'd get to see me and i could still be home for my family and everyone would be happy. He thinks it's a "half-ass" invite and i dont know if he's angry now that we can't be together alone for christmas or what. I should mention that my parents and him have kinda conflicted the whole time we're dating, so maybe that has something to do with the fact that he doesnt want to come over. I don't know what to do anymore..i can't please both sides and i know that family should always come first, despite the fact that my bf and i are in love. What should i do to remedy this situation?Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, whisper01 +, writes (23 December 2006):
Are you and your bf considering getting married? If yes then your parents really have to start getting used to him being around. Christmas would be a perfect time to mend any fences and try and resolve the conflict between your bf and your parents. Ask your parents if he can come round for more than just dessert. If the answer is no then i think you should go and see your bf instead, he is part of your life now and could become family. Your parents have to deal with that. My brother is having a hard time with his gf and my parents but after much persuasion and reasoning they hav let her come round on christmas day.
Also my sister will be spending her time with her bf's family instead of at home with us.
Parents love their children, so they forgive them.Try and reason with them but if not then use force.
good luck, try and have a good christmas
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