A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of over two years likes to play jokes a lot. Recently, however, his jokes have included telling me he has been: 1. seeing someone from his gym for a few months and they really like each alot, then saying just kidding. 2. he is seeing a girl named Jen. When confronted he said he was just kidding and that he doesn't even know a girl by that name. Also in a moment of anger he told me what goes on at the gym is none of my business. I have told him these jokes are cruel and that I don't trust him anymore. He swears he was only kidding and only said all those things to make me upset. Should I believe him and count my losses? He has made jokes about other women or wishing he was single in the past. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I would be wondering. I think more often than not jokes like that have some ring of truth. From my experience jokes like that serve the liar like this.
*) Dealing with personal demons. Anyone remember that Edgar Allan Poe story where the boy kills a guy & the guilt drives him crazY? Saying jokes like that might be a defense b/c if they kept quiet they would feel guilty. This would cause them to act suspicious or unnatural & self-loathing. But by joking about their infidelities they have at least partially dealt with their own guilt by addressing the issure openly.
A
female
reader, Tweets +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Hi, Why are you putting up with this nonsense? Seems to me that he is trying to tell you, but is too immature to know how that he is either seeing or wants to see other women. You should not be tolerating this kind of joking. It's hurting you, and if he really cared about you he would not hurt you. Dump him!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): My advice here is short and sweet babes. Call his bluff and tell him hes welcome to the irresistble girlies at the gym because your fed up hearing it and then back off.
However, trust me here sweetie, your better off without him you dont need the headache of such childish games. He knows hes upsetting you, he knows hes playing mind games and he knows hes upsetting you. Do you honestly want to be with someone who wants to make you feel like that? You wouldnt do it to him now would you? So move on, find someone a little more mature and who will treat you as you like to treat others. Good luck x
...............................
A
female
reader, Trinnity08  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Maybe you should look for someone who treats you with respect not plays with your feelings, he sounds very insensitive and mean , if he countinues with his little jokes how much more could you take ? what if his jokes are just a last minuite cover up for infidelity . follow your heart and don't put up with second best xx be happy. trinnity
...............................
A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Hi.
1) I do not for one second think he is kidding about the relationships he is having.
2)why on earth are you letting this idiot treat you like this, for heavens sake get rid of the bum, and find some one else.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Why dont you let his wishes come true! Tell him to buggar off and he can be free and single again. I wouldnt put up with this crap not for one minute! He jokes he is seeing someone behind your back and then he tell you that what happens at the gym is none of your business, either kick him to the kerb or give him a taste of his own medicine. But personally i cannot see why you are wasting your time on this idiot, you deserve better.
take care
x
...............................
A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Look at it this way. Even if he is joking about it........why? Especially if he loves you, why on earth why would he joke about something like that to "hurt" you? My first thought is that maybe he's trying to tell you in a jokingly manner to see how you will react and/or maybe this is his way of releasing some of the guilt if he is in fact talking to or seeing someone else. Either way, it's stupid and immature. And for him to get angry for you questioning him is pretty pathetic too, he's the one putting these thoughts into your head and then he gets mad when it has an effect on you? And it is your business to know what's going on at the gym if it involves him interacting with other women. Why don't you pop in one day while he's "working out" or start going with him? If he prefers going alone then there may be more on his agenda then just going to work out. I would be very cautious on this one. Regardless if he's cheating or not, anyone who wants to intentionally hurt your feelings is not worth your feelings. Dump him, he's a jerk! You can find better!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Ok those kind of jokes aren't funny to start with. But now he is saying he just says them to hurt you? What a loser. Seriously, what a complete utter loser. He sounds like needs to grow up. You can do better!
...............................
|
