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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend/fiance for over 2 years. We have a 16 month-old together. For a while now he has been changing a lot towards me and I think he is either cheating on me or falling out of love with me. It is too the point to where he wont call, then when I do get ahold of him he tells me he will call me back but never does because he is "busy". He never asks me to come in see him, and when I ask him why he says that he shouldn't have to ask, and then if I do pop-up unannounced, he jumps down my throat about it. He just recently changed the password to his email, even though we have a deal worked out to know each others passwords for every site and email we each have...just to be on the safe side. And now out of no where, he tells me he is going through a change because he is tired of being who he is. He is wanting to get tattoos and piercings, different hair and such... he is just changing his whole image and I am afraid he is doing that for someone else. When I do talk to him he will tell me he loves me, when I ask him if he's cheating or falling out of love with me he says no matter how bad it hurts me, that he would tell me. It's just something in my gut is telling me that something is wrong and I have no idea what. Are these signs that he is cheating or doesn't love me anymore, or am I just being paranoid and need to give him his space? I am just afraid if I give him too much space, someone will come in and fill that void. So can anyone give me any advice or anything please.
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female
reader, tiffanydm17  +, writes (14 June 2011):
The same thing is happening with me currently...I am paranoid and have the strongest urges to look through his phone just to find out who he is talking to. But I can tell you one thing, do not constantly ask him questions and do not seem needy. I have learned the hard way because that pushed my ex even further away when I tried my hardest to work things out. You are definitely not paranoid, and have the right to find out what is causing this drastic change. The feeling is horrible, I know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): You know when men change it will always raise questions it can be so hard to tell the reason why they do especially if youve been so good to him im in the exact same boat as you i mean exact how i handle it is i keep my self busy and try hard to stay positive cause if he is doing wrong it will hit the light.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): Its not that you prepare for heartbreak...its just that with love nothing is promised in the end...you may be in love with him with all of your heart and soul but people do change and because you are very young that means that he is more likely to change and want to see other people...doesn't mean that he doesnt love you it may just mean that he is not in love with you. So when the anonymous reader advised you to prepare for the worst it just meant how do you plan on supporting your family if he leaves..are make sure that you have a backup plan in case you all don't spend the rest of your lives together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow can anyone really be prepared to have their heartbroken? I love him with my heart and soul and we have a kid together. I'm one of those people who might be young at age but is very old fashioned. Like since I had a baby with him, I'm not going to bring any other guys into my life. He is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, I just feel like he is making this change to meet someone new or to try and hint that he isnt in love with me anymore, but every time I ask him to confirm my thoughts and feelings I always come to a dead end. His answer is always 'If I didn't want to be with you I would tell you". And he recently had said that if I didn't like his new image, he would find someone who does. Does that mean he is cheating or at least planning on finding someone new?
Gosh, I am so confused. I dont want to loose him and I dont want him to change.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): i don't like to say this to you but I think the signs are there that he has definitely lost interest. I only say that because the telephone business happened to me and then the changing of the email password and this was because my husband had another woman. It was subtle but he just stopped making any effort and was no longer interested in doing anything with me. Before this gets too far tell him you want to talk and get what is going on out in the open. I knew something was wrong but chose just to ignore it and then one day when I came home he had just gone. Sit him down and ask him why he is chnaging all these things about himself and ask him what it is he wants from life. Tell him it is ok for him to tell you anything and if you do hear things you don't want to don't fly off the handle just listen to what he says. See if you agree with any of his points and if you feel if you work at it if you can put things right. if he doesn't want to talk about why he is changing then he is either with another or has decided he doesn't want to talk to you about anything. If that is the case prepare for the worst as he is no longer interested and you will be battling against a brick wall. Most women are extremely perceptive when relationships change and they notice even small details that things are not the same so i would be led by my gut instinct that something is wrong.
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female
reader, babomi  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 even with a baby at charge, u re both so young ... and need to find yourselves, it s natural
that s what he seems doing right now and i don t think u should try to prevent him from doing so, it just wouldn t work
that there s or not another girl in the picture is not the issue
i honestly don t think, that in this situation, you ll be able to maintain your relationship
i hope you and your baby won t be too affected
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): I don't think you're paranoid. If you think something is very wrong, then it probably is because that is too big of a change in a man. I know helpless you must feel, but whatever you do, don't freak out on him cuz that will just push him further away from you. Perhaps give him his space...but also prepare for the worst.
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