A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling so distraught. my boyfriend signed into msn hotmail on my computer to check his e-mail and the details as in password and address were stored on the computer, my curiosity got the better of me and i had a look at his e-mail. i was really upset by what i saw, there were e-mails saved from a while back (but still when we were together) from a girl he had clearly been cybering with, and i've also discovered he's registered with an adult site posting for people to e-mail him for some "cheeky fun". its really hurt me. i know i shouldnt have looked at his e-mail, but i need to know am i wrong to be so upset, is this cheating? and should i confront him. i cant help but feel like he's cheating on me by talking and getting pictures sent from these random women. should i confess and confront him? i really dont know what to do. please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): I had the same experience with my partner when we first met. In the first few months of our relationship there was alot of sexual interaction between him and girls he met before me, both on line and text messaging. I Think that we all have different ideas about what constitutes being faithful, but, ultimately there is no in between if your heart is truly loyal the rest of you will follow naturally including yours eyes, your hands, your mind etc etc. There are many common beliefs and sayings 'like men cant help it' ' its the way god made them' but these are merely cop outs and guys believe and use them because its convenient. Be true to yourself and dont share yourself with someone who chooses to posses and act on values that deviate to far from your own and cause you pain. They will only ever make you miserable and there sooo many good men out there why waste your life with one that isnt.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Liars and cheats always try to shift the blame. He has let you down. Don't feel guilty. He owes you an apology.Have some self respect. If you can't respect yourself ,how you gonna get someone else to respect you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): if he is looking he is thinking about cheating. Nail his ass. Don't take any crap about snooping. Liars and cheats always try to shift the blame. He has let you down. Don't feel guilty. He owes you an apology.
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A
female
reader, flatpack84 +, writes (10 February 2007):
 He seems to be having more than a casual interest in this passtime, especially if he is in an online "friendship" with this one girl over a prolonged period of time.Talk to him, raise the issue - he may not see it as cheating as its done over the internet and not physical contact is involved, but let him know how badly this as hurt you. Let him know where you stand on this morally and emotionally and if he's even half a man he will realise what this has done to you and curb this habit.It can be an extension of pornography and phone lines, it probably means he doesn't love you any less. Men have a need to see and hear things more than us females and he may not have been using the sensitive part of his brain when he engaged in this pastime.I hope everything works out for you, good luck :)
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A
female
reader, chazx +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Do bring it up with him and let him know you have read/seen stuff he has been doing.Im a snoop to and if you snoop through things expect to get hurt but you have to handle it if you choose to do it babe.Good luck and keep us informed.I'm not sure if it classes as cheating in some people's eyes but i sure damn would throw him.You can do better much much better.Men like that should be strung up.No girl/women deserves to be treated like that.Chazx
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