A
female
age
41-50,
*eelslikeimdivorcedalready
writes:I had been out of a 7 year relationship with a previous man of whom would never marry me, but expected to live with me and have children, I was dumb enough to have one. The relationship was over for 7 months. I had met another man one night out with some friends, and as the night progressed we hit it off. I eventually moved in with him at his request and we got married 2 years later. Then again 2 years after that as we are catholics and sealed our marriage after some talk. I have been told that he cheated on me days before we got our marriage sealed. I was told he cheated on me with a girl from his work, the evidence is all there, i chose to ignore it though. and now he is a long haul truck driver, we have two children together, he keeps saying that he is going to quit and work here at home. when i confront him he says that all i want to do is "keep him right under my thumb where i can make sure i know where he's at". I don't feel that way at all. I love him with all my heart and I miss him, also, our 15 month old is starting to cry all the time. He notices that his dad disappears, then when he gets used to him being gone, he comes back and disrupts him. This last time he came home and I confronted him about the situation he got violent and crushed my hand against the wall. it is still swollen and bruised, he called his supervisor and put in his 2 week notice and made sure he blamed me for it. He has been tellng people stories even my family to turn them against me. Making it sound like he is a victim of some sort. Yet was told two weeks ago by a woman that he was with her and that it was my fault for not "keeping an eye on my man" and when I asked him about it he denied it. We caught up to her in the grocery store and she denied saying it, yet got her sister involved, he didn't say a word to any of them. He was the one who said to be a stand up person and confront her. It seemed all practiced or rehearsed like they all knew what was coming. Do you think he is cheating and using his job to do it or am I dreaming it all up in my head, also is it wrong for me to want my husband to play a bigger family part and to get a job closer to home or am I being selfish?
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female
reader, feelslikeimdivorcedalready +, writes (21 December 2010):
feelslikeimdivorcedalready is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou to the two who had answered my questions. I have totally realized and got on board with my brain!! I feel sorry for the kids who are going to hurt if it doesn't work. lastnite he called me at 9pm so that he could go and be with this whore. She doesn't have anything on me except for 300 lbs and no looks. I hired a private investigator. She erased my text message to him. She called and sabotaged my new job and so now I am without it now He wants to come home but I told him I am no longer your doormat. Quit your job and get one here, break it off with this woman and think of your family first. He has taken his checks and put them into my own personal bank account. He is supposed to be home on Thursday night. I am not sure if I should even take him back due to the fact that he lied and hurt me so much to hide this woman. It cost my $1500 to find out what she was doing to me, because he got loose lips and talked to her about me all the time. Making himself out to be a victim. She even went as far as having her friends watch where I went so that I didn't catch them. He was supposed to be in another town and he was here. Ok im going off but my question is there, somewhere. If he isn't coming home tonight saying he has to work one more day, is he lying to me and still staying with her and the money is supposed to shut me up. I don't want to spend anymore money on his lies and cheating.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I sugg. you buy and read two books:
1. Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov
2. Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov.
You are way too nice to these guys to begin with and moving in without a ring, without respect, without him falling in love with you is a NO NO. Don't ever marry or get into a relationship with man who doesn't care a tad bit more about you and your needs, don't marry him if he is not in love with you either. If you are a great woman, he shouldn't just accept you...he accepts a doormat, he accepts a whore...he should be mad about you, crazy about you, willing to do any and everything for you. If he isn't then don't get serious with the guy.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 What I don't understand is why are you fighting hard to keep this abuser in your life. He has obviously cheated on you, he has physically hurt you, and to top it all off he is playing the victim. I say dump the loser and start over with a real man, a man who will not find the need to cheat on you, a man who will not physically or emotionally hurt you, a real man.
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