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Baby is on the way, how do I tell him when we have broken up??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hiya girls and guys. I recently found out that I'm pregnant. I'm only 17 and the father is 19. We broke up about a month ago but we're still friends. He is unemployed at the moment and still lives with his parents. I'm a student and I was hoping to finish my studies before starting a family. I don't want to have an abortion because I personally don't agree with it and I don't want to put my baby up for adoption as I have a friend who was adopted and she has went through a lot of emotional trouble because she thinks that her parents 'didn't want her'. I know that studying will be an issue but I'm going to try and find a way around it. The problem is that I don't know how my ex will take the news that he's going to be a dad. He loves kids but always said that he wanted to wait until he's got a stable job and his own house. Also he has recently started liking another girl and said that he is going to ask her out at some point. I don't want anything from him. I just want him to be part of the baby's life because I never got to see my dad when I was younger and now I find it difficult to talk to him. I'm afraid that he'll walk away from our child. How should I break the news to him?

View related questions: abortion, broke up, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

Good for uoy for wanting to keep the baby.You just need to tell him and see how he reacts.It is his baby and he needs to realise that.

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A female reader, Adorskable  Mexico +, writes (20 December 2010):

Adorskable  agony auntYour going to have to tell him and the sooner the better. By you understanding that just because your pregnant does not mean he has to be in a relationship with you shows that you are a mature teenager. He has to be financially responsible and supportive towards the child, and regardless if he wanted children this early in life does not come to the point because the fact is he is going to be a father and there not much he can do about it. My suggestion is to tell him as soon as possible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010):

are u crazy being pregnant, have an aborion, you do not need this at this age, you are a child yourself and do not have to be a mother.

What do you want to be a grand mother at 34? you have to live your life which is aead of you and not change dipers....

be careful next time and for rational thinking do not have a child and do not get religion in your way of thinking...

Best of luck...

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A male reader, Sex_counsellor United Kingdom +, writes (20 December 2010):

Sex_counsellor agony auntFirstly have you spoke to your family about this situation, there support both financially and emotionally. I would suggest telling the guy face to face if you can do, that way he is less likely to be funny about the whole situation. Also he may be in denial so take him your baby scan picture if he needs proof.

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